Choices
by MasterC and PadawanT
Summary: A nice little story about how Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan became Master and Padawan. (Does not follow the JA books.)


DISCLAIMER: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas. All characters, except for Tamelin, Nils, Keiran and Jules were created by him. No profit is being made from this story; it is purely for the entertainment of depraved Star Wars fans. If you wish to post this story somewhere, please contact the authors before doing so, and please leave the entire story (including the disclaimer) in tact.

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FEEDBACK: Loved it? Hated it? Please send us feedback! We worked long and hard on this and would really, really love to hear what you think of it. 

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SUMMARY: A nice little story about Qui-Gon and Obi- Wan, and how they came to be Master and Padawan.   
_Note:_ this story does not follow the Jedi Apprentice books.

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We'd also like to give a special thanks to Kat who spent a lot of time beta-reading for us and providing us with great feedback.

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CHOICES  
  
_Written: January 2000  
By: _[_Master C and Padawan T_][1]

[Prologue]

Keiran stepped through the doorway into her husband's office, her dark blonde hair framing her beautiful face. She clutched the doorframe, eyes closed and face contorted with pain, as she tried not to groan out loud. "Nils, it's time," she gasped. After a moment, her face eased back to its normal calm white features.

The man to whom she'd spoken turned to see the woman that he loved ease herself onto the couch near the doorway. The chatter coming from the monitor behind him abruptly stopped as the person that Nils had been doing business with noticed that his partner was no longer visible. "Are you sure, sweetheart?" Nils asked anxiously, his muscles tensing in anticipation.

"Nils, Nils, where are you? Nils?" the voice on the monitor called frantically.

"Not now, Jules!" Nils threw over his shoulder as he neared his wife. "How long?" he asked as he knelt before her.

From the monitor on the wall, Jules couldn't see what was happening, but he heard Keiran gasp sharply as another spasm of pain started working its way through her. "Oh, my!" he shouted. "Do you want me to call the medics?"

"No, Jules, just shut up!" Nils spit out, his voice trembling slightly with excitement. Then, more gently, he took his wife's hand and asked again, "How long?"

Keiran took a deep breath after the spasm died down and shakily said, "An hour maybe. They're getting closer." She looked down at her swollen belly and ran a hand across it, more for her own comfort than that of the child within.

Jules again spoke from the monitor. "What should I do, Nils?"

Nils glared at the image of his brother on the screen and said, "Get off the line, Jules. We'll see you at the medical facilities. I'm taking Keiran there now."

Jules nodded his brown head. "Right!" he said, and his image abruptly disappeared.

Keiran smiled. Her brother-in-law could be so empty- headed in a crisis and yet sharp as a knife when it came to business. Another contraction cut the smile short as Keiran grabbed Nils' hand and squeezed.

"Are you okay?" Nils asked.

Keiran nodded as the pain eased away again.

"Let me call the medics and we'll be on our way." He rose and activated the monitor, tuning it to the emergency signal. A medic droid appeared before him. It automatically identified him and the reason for the call and then confirmed their arrival in about five minutes, all the while assuring the expectant father that everything would be ready when they arrived. 

A small moan from the couch caused Nils to rush from the monitor. "Let's get you out of here. Seems that our little one wants out badly." He wrapped his arm around Keiran and lifted her from the couch and out of the office. He helped her make her way through their living quarters and then lifted her into the speeder.

When Keiran and Nils arrived at the medical facility, they were greeted by a medic droid and a nurse, who quickly admitted Keiran and whisked her off to the delivery room. After three long, tense hours, Keiran gave a final, exhausted push and was rewarded by Nils' voice exclaiming joyfully, "It's a boy!" Nils kissed his wife as their baby son started crying, feeling his heart fill with love. 

The nurse that had greeted them earlier upon their arrival brought the baby over to his mother and placed him in her arms. Deep blue eyes squinted up at her, a tiny fist waving in the air.

"He's beautiful, Nils, look at him!" Keiran said kissing the tiny fist.

"Yes, he is," Nils replied, his voice full of pride. He again kissed his wife, placing his large finger in the baby's grip, and placing his other arm around Keiran's shoulders.

As the couple inspected the tiny form that they had brought into the world, making sure that all of his tiny little parts were in order, they both sensed something strange, something that neither one could identify, almost emanating from him. They looked at each other in wonderment and then back at the baby.

The medic droid interrupted the little family's first moments together. "Name of child?" it asked tonelessly.

Again the couple looked at each other. Nils shrugged and then replied, "Benjamin Wade Lars." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Part one: Three months later]

"Oh isn't he the most precious thing?" Tamelin Starr gushed excitedly, cooing at the baby in her arms. 

Across the room, Keiran smiled proudly over her best friend's excitement. She and Tamelin had known each other for a few years, ever since the perky, dark-skinned young woman had first come to Corellia. They had hit it off right away, even though Tamelin was the total opposite of Keiran in looks as well as in personality. While Keiran was tall, graceful and blonde, Tamelin was shorter, with spongy black curls, and dark, chocolate-coloured skin. Keiran was more quiet and watchful, while Tamelin was outgoing and always bubbly. They always appreciated each other's company.

Keiran was visiting her friend for their daily gossip session, and as an added benefit, she got to show off her son. In the three months since she and Nils had brought Ben home, the little boy had changed their entire outlook on life.

"That he is," Keiran said, agreeing with Tamelin's earlier sentiment. "Even when he keeps us awake half the night," she added with a wry grin.

"You and Nils are so lucky," Tamelin sighed. "And you, little Ben, have the most wonderful mother and father in the whole galaxy."

Keiran laughed out loud. "I don't know about that one," she replied. "But I won't argue it if you insist." She watched her friend fondly as the other woman bent her dark head over Ben, making the little boy laugh. 

"So, who's coming for dinner tonight?" Tamelin asked Keiran.

"Just you," Keiran replied. "Nils' brother couldn't make it."

"Well as soon as I was invited, I knew I couldn't refuse because I'm in love with this little man here," Tamelin responded, tickling Ben's tummy and making the baby gurgle. "I just can't get enough of him." 

Keiran smiled again. She glanced out the living-room window, and her brow furrowed a little. "Tam? Are you expecting company?" she asked.

Tamelin's attention turned away from Ben to whatever it was that had caught her friend's eye. Coming up the walk to the front of Tamelin's house were two figures. Suddenly Tamelin gave an excited squeal.

"What is it?" Keiran asked in surprise, reaching out to take Ben from Tamelin's arms. She had a funny feeling all of a sudden, and she wanted to keep her son close.

"It's my brother!" Tamelin replied. "He was supposed to be here at the end of the week, but he's early!" She turned to Keiran and Keiran could not mistake the sparkle in Tamelin's eyes.

"So, I finally get to meet this elusive brother of yours?"

Tamelin nodded excitedly, rushing for the door. "I haven't seen him in so long, I almost forget what he looks like!" she half-joked.

Tamelin flung open the door and bounded down the steps towards her brother, throwing her arms around the grinning young man. Keiran followed, stopping at the door hesitantly. Her grip on Ben tightened a little. To Keiran, Tamelin's brother and the man with him both seemed dominating. She could tell, just from their confident stances, that they were used to being in control. It sent chills down her back.

"Keiran!" Tamelin called. "I'd like you to meet my brother."

Keiran stepped forward uncertainly, stopping in front of her friend and the two strangers.

"This is my best friend, Keiran Lars," Tamelin said to her brother. "Keiran, this is my brother, Mace Windu."

"Pleased to meet you," Keiran said, although she didn't really sound pleased to Mace's ears.

Mace smiled gently at her, inclining his head slightly in greeting. He was taller than both Keiran and Tamelin, but he had Tamelin's colouring. Keiran guessed that he must be in his early thirties. His head was shaved completely bald, and while his manner remained reserved, the look in his eyes was welcoming. Keiran tried to relax.

"And who is this with you?" Tamelin demanded, punching her brother lightly in the arm. "Not only do you show up early, but you bring strange people with you." Tamelin's grin belied the harshness of her words, and the warmth in Mace's eyes increased.

"Tamelin, Keiran, this is a good friend of mine, Qui-Gon Jinn," Mace said, indicating the man behind him.

Keiran took a moment to study the man. He was by far the tallest of their little group, and he appeared to be about the same age as Mace. His eyes were a deep blue and held the same confidence as Mace's, although Keiran had the odd feeling that there was a little more defiance in him than there was in Mace. His hair was neither short nor long, and the back was just starting to touch Qui-Gon's collar. He wore a long, plain brown robe, almost identical to the one that Mace wore. Keiran recalled that Tamelin's brother was a Jedi Knight, and she assumed, then, that Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi as well.

Qui-Gon bowed slightly to Keiran and Tamelin. 

"Glad to meet you both," Qui-Gon said, his voice lilting slightly with a strange accent that neither woman recognized. "Tamelin, I have heard a lot about you from your brother. I'm glad I finally get to see how much of it is true." _Of course,_ he added silently to himself, _he left out how beautiful you are._ He found himself both unable and unwilling to take his eyes off of her.

Tamelin laughed, liking her brother's friend immediately. There was something about him that was almost magnetic. Maybe it was the way he was looking at her. She glanced over at Keiran and was surprised to see a look of pure resistance on her friend's face. Keiran was usually quiet around strangers, but this was the first time that Tamelin had ever seen her look so hostile.

Keiran caught Tamelin looking at her and blushed a little. She was as surprised as Tamelin over her strange attitude toward the two Jedi. Part of her wanted to like them. There was something about them that she instinctively felt she could trust, and she suspected that she would like them if she gave them the chance. However, ever since Ben's birth, Keiran had found herself becoming irrationally wary around strangers. She couldn't quite explain why, but she felt the constant need to protect both him and herself from some unknown threat.

"And who is this?" Mace said to Keiran, pointing to the baby in her arms. He could sense Keiran's mysterious unease but was at a loss to explain it.

Keiran's eyes widened slightly and her grip on her son tightened a little. She had to consciously fight the urge to back away from the Jedi. "This is Ben," she said quietly.

Ben seemed not to notice the attitudes of the adults around him. He was happily bubbling to himself as he played with the edge of his blanket.

"Why don't we all go inside?" Tamelin asked, clapping her hands together once in delight. "I'm sure Keiran would be as interested in hearing some of your stories as I am," she prodded.

The two Jedi, Tamelin, and Keiran all headed into Tamelin's house, where she busied herself in the kitchen, trying to throw together some quick refreshments for her three guests. As she worked, she couldn't help wondering why the tall stranger who accompanied her brother was affecting her so profoundly. He was handsome, but that wasn't it. Tamelin had never been one of those silly girls whose head was turned by a pretty face. His affect on her was something else, something deeper. She finished with the refreshments and tried to push the unexpected thoughts aside. 

Meanwhile, in the living-room, Keiran was left alone with Qui- Gon and Mace. The three of them kept up a steady stream of small talk while waiting for Tamelin.

"So, Tam tells me that you're Jedi," Keiran said. "I confess, I don't know much about your order, but it must be an exciting life." 

"Jedi do not seek excitement," Mace said with an amused smile, "but excitement often seeks the Jedi."

Qui-Gon smirked at his friend's understatement. "It is a difficult life," he added, "but a worthy one."

"What does that mean?" Keiran asked, her curiosity peaked.

Qui-Gon shrugged slightly. "A Jedi's whole life is dedicated to his or her training and understanding of the Force, sometimes with the exclusion of all else."

"How long have you two been Jedi?" Keiran asked, not sure she understood exactly what Qui-Gon was telling her.

Mace and Qui-Gon shared an unreadable look and then Mace replied, "We have always been Jedi."

Keiran was surprised. It seemed so foreign for her to imagine that a child's whole future could be known before the child was even old enough to understand. She couldn't imagine Ben's life being all mapped out for him.

"Did you have to go to a special school?"

"Actually," Mace said, "we were raised at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. All Jedi are."

Keiran frowned slightly. She vaguely remembered Tamelin saying once how her brother had spent a lot of time away from home when he was growing up, but it was something that Tamelin had never really talked about and Keiran had been reluctant to ask about it.

"How old is your son?" Qui-Gon asked, trying to change the subject. He wasn't sure why, but he sensed that Keiran was becoming uneasy again. He attributed it to their discussion of the Jedi.

"Three months," Keiran replied abruptly. She suddenly realized how rude her abruptness must have sounded and felt contrite. "Would you like to hold him?" she asked hesitantly, wishing to make amends.

Qui-Gon's initial response was to say no. He wasn't always comfortable around babies, but something unnamed stopped him. "I would be honoured," he said instead. Keiran placed Ben, who was still chattering happily to himself, into Qui-Gon's arms.

All of a sudden, Ben's chatter stopped and the little boy turned his bright blue eyes on Qui-Gon. To Qui-Gon, it felt as though the baby was studying him or evaluating him, which was probably ridiculous since the child was only three months in age. But more disturbing than that, was the tingling sensation that Qui-Gon felt building in the back of his mind. There was something special about this boy. He could sense it. He could almost reach out and touch it.

"Hello there, little friend," Qui-Gon said softly to the child, almost mesmerized by the intensity of the boy's stare.

Breaking his eyes away from the baby, Qui-Gon glanced up to meet Mace's gaze. Mace was staring at Qui-Gon almost as intently as Ben had been. Neither Jedi needed words to convey their thoughts. Qui-Gon felt somewhat better knowing that Mace felt the same untapped power emanating from Ben that he did.

Keiran watched the two Jedi share a knowing look, and the peculiar way that Ben had reacted to being held by Qui- Gon. Her heart fluttered nervously and she was suddenly afraid.

"You're so quiet in here," Tamelin said to her guests, entering the room with a big smile. Keiran reached out and all but snatched Ben away from Qui-Gon. For a moment, the little boy's eyes stayed fixed on Qui-Gon and then he turned to his mother and began to whimper. 

Keiran tried to soothe the baby before his whimpers turned into full-blown howls while Tamelin passed around the drinks that she had brought with her.

Mace cleared his throat. "Keiran," he said softly, "when Ben was born, was he given any... tests?"

Keiran looked from one Jedi to the other, not liking the way that they were regarding her. In their gazes she read a mix of both sympathy and sudden insight. 

"Just the usual tests," she replied, her forehead creasing with an apprehensive frown. 

"What's going on?" Tamelin asked with a forced smile, trying to lighten the mood. She glanced from her brother to her friend and felt as though invisible lines were slowly being drawn between them. She shivered uneasily, not wanting to be standing on a line between two people that she loved so much.

Mace took a deep breath and figured it would be best to just come straight to the point. "Keiran, would you allow us to take a quick blood sample from Ben?" 

Keiran's face turned an odd shade of white. "Blood sample? Why?!" she demanded in a hoarse whisper. "There is nothing wrong with him!"

"No, there is nothing wrong with your child," Mace replied, "but we think he might have a gift... the gift of hearing the Force."

Keiran looked from one Jedi to the other. They were serious. They really thought that Ben had some special power. Keiran's first impulse was to deny them their request. Her son was special, but he was no Jedi. He was just a normal little boy and she wanted to keep him that way. However, something stopped her before she said no. She couldn't explain why, but she had a niggling doubt in the back of her mind that she didn't think would let her rest until she consented to the Jedi's test.

"You won't hurt him, will you?" Keiran inquired.

"He will be fine," Mace replied solemnly.

"And when you run this test and see that he's just a normal baby, you'll drop this?" Keiran continued, glaring at the Jedi.

Mace and Qui-Gon shared a look. "If we're wrong, and he *is* just an average child, then yes, it will not be mentioned again," Mace assured her.

Keiran glanced over at Tamelin for support. Tamelin still looked a little confused, but Keiran could tell that her trust in her brother was absolute. Tamelin's support helped Keiran make up her mind. "All right," she said at last.

Mace reached into the pouch that he wore attached to the belt on his waist and pulled out a small device. He came over to where Keiran was holding tightly onto Ben and pressed the device against Ben's arm. There was a slight hissing sound and the tool drew a touch of blood from the baby's arm. Ben whimpered a little but did not cry. As quick as that, it was over.

The two Jedi Knights waited patiently as the device analyzed the baby's blood. There was a stifling silence in the room as the machine worked. A few heartbeats later, a beep indicated that the analysis was done and Mace and Qui- Gon both looked over to view the results. 

Keiran held her breath when the two Jedi turned to her, trying to ignore all the times over the last three months when she'd felt that Ben was somehow different. 

"You see?" she said.

"Keiran," Mace said softly, "Ben's midichlorian count is very high."

Qui-Gon nodded in amazement. "Even higher than both of ours," he said, indicating himself and Mace.

"What does that mean?" Tamelin asked. Keiran felt her heart flutter nervously. 

"It means," Mace said, "that the boy is one of us."

"A Jedi?!" Tamelin gasped.

Mace nodded at his sister. "If he were properly trained, yes, he would be a Jedi. Right now he is just a Force- sensitive individual with no training."

"Wait a minute," Keiran said sharply, shaking her head in quick denial. "You must be wrong."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "There is no mistake. Keiran, your son has a great gift... an untapped power. He should be taught how to use it. How to control it," he persuaded, locking eyes with Keiran. Qui-Gon's almost passionate belief held her mesmerized for a few long moments.

"What would that involve?" Keiran asked, involuntarily moved by Qui-Gon's conviction. 

There was a heavy silence. Keiran realized with increasing certainty that she would not like the answer. She recalled Mace's words from a few short minutes ago, explaining how he and Qui-Gon had both been raised at the Jedi Temple. With a suffocating feeling of dread, she knew where this was going.

"He would have to be raised on Coruscant, at the Jedi Temple with the others like him," Mace replied calmly.

Keiran's jaw dropped. "You want to take my son away, to some distant planet?" She shot a wild look to Tamelin, whose eyes were also wide with shock. Instinctively, Keiran hugged Ben closer before turning her attention back to Mace. "No! I won't allow it!"

"Keiran," Qui-Gon said sympathetically, "your son will have this talent whether or not he is trained. But without this training, it will always be a mystery to him. All his life he will have to deal with having a power that he does not understand. Would you have him live with that confusion?"

Keiran felt sudden tears welling up in her eyes. When he said it like that, it made her sound like a terrible person for denying Ben his birthright. But something stronger than duty and honour told her she didn't care. He was her baby. They hadn't said so yet, but she knew that if she gave in and let them take Ben, then she would no longer be his mother. The Jedi would become his family and she and Nils would just be a distant memory. That is, if he had the ability to remember them at all.

"I will not lose my son," she said vehemently. "And my husband will agree with me."

Qui-Gon and Mace did not reply. They had both been in this situation before. In fact, more often than not, the parents of a Jedi child reacted this way at first. But, given time to let the idea sink in and the shock wear off, they usually changed their minds and realized what they would be denying the child. However, Keiran was different than most parents that Mace had encountered. Her connection to Ben ran very deep, and he wasn't sure she would be able to sever that connection. Mace glanced at Qui-Gon, who was thinking the same thing.

"It is, of course, your decision," Mace said. "All we ask is that you give it careful consideration."

Keiran didn't reply. "I have to be getting home now," she said instead.

Tamelin walked her friend to the door. She felt like crying over the pain she could see in Keiran's eyes. On the one hand, she agreed with her. She could remember the stories her parents told of the time when Mace had been taken from her family. She had not yet been born when the Jedi had claimed him, but she remembered the loss that her parents had lived with. When Mace had been about thirteen or fourteen, he had been told about his real family and was allowed to meet them. She had known that she had a brother, but she had never met him and it had been very awkward to adjust to having him in her life.

Yet, on the other hand, she agreed with Mace and Qui- Gon. Her brother would not be her brother without the power that made him a Jedi, and she would never dream of denying him that part of himself.

Tamelin gave Keiran a supportive hug. "Whatever you decide," she said, "I'll always stand behind you."

Keiran didn't answer, but was grateful for the support. "I'll talk to you later."

*****

Keiran practically ran from Tamelin's house to her own home, needing to get as far away from the Jedi as possible. Instead of using the front door as she normally would have, she went around to the side door, which served as the entrance to Nils' office. 

Nils Lars looked up in surprise as his wife entered. "What a nice surprise," he said with a delighted smile. Rising, he made his way from behind his desk, kissing Keiran's flushed cheek and then the top of Ben's soft, downy head which had the same colour hair as his mother's. "Are you okay?" Nils asked suddenly in concern, noticing his wife's pinched face.

"Oh, Nils, they want to take Ben from us!" Keiran gushed, tears filling her eyes.

"They who, sweetheart?" Nils asked in confusion, feeling a sudden twist in his gut.

Keiran could not answer. She had seated herself on the couch in Nils' office and had begun crying in earnest. Ben joined in, in his own baby way of detecting the stress that his mother was under.

Nils sat down next to his wife and took Ben from her, trying to comfort both at the same time. Ben was the first to calm and Nils was able to rouse his wife enough to take her into the living portion of the house. Placing Ben in his crib for a long- overdue nap, he turned his full attention to his wife.

"Sweetheart, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't help." He wrapped both arms around her, trying to protect her against whatever unknown evil was hurting her.

After a few more moments, Keiran was able to come to a sniffling stop. The pain in her eyes reached Nils' heart. "Who wants to take Ben away, Keiran?" he asked slowly. 

"The Jedi," she replied in a shaky voice.

Nils took a moment to think, trying to control his shock. Jedi did not normally go around randomly taking children from their parents. Granted, he had heard that the Jedi Order did accept specially gifted children into their ranks, but... a tingle ran up Nils' back as a dim memory tried to resurface. "Jedi?"

"Tamelin's brother and his friend. They took a sample of Ben's blood and said he had a high count of something..." Keiran could not finish as tears were beginning to form again.

Nils frowned slightly. He vaguely remembered that Tamelin had mentioned that her brother would be visiting and that he was a Jedi Knight. He fervently hoped that this was the dim memory that was nagging at him. "Maybe I should speak with these men."

Keiran's blonde head snapped up to look into the soft brown eyes of her husband. "I don't know about that, Nils," she replied hesitantly. She was silent for a few moments as a hundred thoughts drifted through her mind, and then she suddenly changed her mind. "Yes," she said. "Maybe that would be good. Then you can tell them to take their midi- whatever-count and go home!"

Nils' brow furrowed at the expression on Keiran's face. "Sweetheart, one cannot be rude to a single Jedi, let alone two." He sighed and sat back, pulling Keiran into his arms and stroking her hair. They stayed that way for nearly an hour before they were interrupted by the cry of a hungry baby boy upstairs.

*****

As Keiran went to Ben, Nils sat alone in his office. His mind kept wandering back to the inconceivable notion that the Jedi wanted his son. The whole thing was so unreal. Nils knew all of the legends about the Jedi; ever since he was a child, he had been told story after story. In his mind, he started going over some of the tales that he had been told. So much of it seemed unbelievable and almost fictional to him. With a start, he realized that there were very few actual facts that he knew about the Jedi. His knowledge base was nothing more than legends. Finally, he decided that the only way he would get any peace of mind would be to do a little checking on the Jedi Order. 

A short time later, Nils turned away from his research, impressed with what he'd found, but still experiencing the feeling of unreality about this whole situation. The nagging memory that had bothered him earlier was still in the back of his mind, and it seemed to be growing stronger. He left his office and found Keiran with Ben in her arms, rocking the baby back to sleep. He smiled at them as he leaned over and watched his son's little blue eyes blink as he tried to fight the nap, until finally they closed in sleep.

"Didn't you invite Tamelin over for dinner tonight?" Nils asked as Keiran placed Ben in his crib.

"I forgot," Keiran replied as she headed for the kitchen and then paused. "But she has guests now," she added, almost as an afterthought, a look of stubbornness crossing her features.

Nils gave her a look that stopped whatever argument was about to escape her lips. "I need to talk with these men, Keiran," he said softly yet firmly. He shook his head when he saw that she was about to object. "Sweetheart, please, it's not their fault." That dim memory that had been plaguing Nils started nagging at him again.

Keiran fought down the panic that threatened her and nodded her head at Nils. Her heart was beating rapidly. She knew that this was not going to turn out well, but she felt so helplessly out of control. She didn't think she could stop it.

"I'll call and let Tamelin know that she and her guests are welcome, unless they've made other plans," she said, swallowing hard.

"I'll do it," Nils replied knowing it would not be easy for her to face the Jedi again, and knowing that she would need some time to prepare herself before they arrived. 

Keiran winced as Nils turned away from her. Something told her that things would never be the same again.

*****

Meanwhile, at Tamelin's house, there was only silence as Keiran escaped from her friend's home. Qui-Gon sighed with unexpected disappointment. For some reason, he couldn't help feeling a tiny sense of loss as he watched Keiran go, taking the boy with her. He tried to ignore it, rising and crossing the room to look out a window.

Tamelin turned from the door and looked into her brother's eyes. She saw a sadness there that she had never witnessed before. She crossed her arms and shivered, feeling torn between Keiran's pain and her brother's sadness. "She's scared," Tamelin said, giving her brother an accusatory glance.

"I know," Mace's deep voice answered, sighing sadly over Tamelin's glare.

"They waited so long for Ben," Tamelin tried to explain.

Mace closed his dark brown eyes in concentration and then said, "There will be others."

"But not Ben!" Tamelin said, a bit more harshly than she had intended.

Qui-Gon turned from the window. "No, not Ben. You are right Tamelin. Any other children that they have will not be replacements for Ben, just as you were not a replacement for Mace to your parents. But do you think that your parents would change any of it now? We just came from visiting them. They are proud of their son." Qui-Gon stared at her for a moment, and a flicker of an old pain intensified his blue eyes. "At least he has parents to visit, as will Ben. I have no one to go home to. My parents could not handle the changes that they saw in me; the same changes that will eventually occur in Ben. They abandoned me in fear," he explained, shocked over his need to tell her such a personal thing. He never talked about his past and couldn't explain why he needed to make Tamelin understand.

Tamelin blinked back a tear, trying hard not to let Qui- Gon's sorrow touch her heart. It only made him seem more human to her. Right now, she did not want to see him as human; she wanted him to remain a shadowy enemy. If she let him get to her, if she let him reach her heart, she knew she wouldn't be able to sustain her anger at him. In her mind, she knew that Nils and Keiran would never abandon Ben, but she also knew that fear caused the best of people to sometimes behave in the worst of ways. "You're right, Qui-Gon," she reluctantly replied. "Our parents are fiercely proud of Mace," Tamelin added, choosing not to acknowledge his comment about his own parents. "I've heard them say many times that they would do it all over again. Mace has done so much."

The comm centre suddenly beeped, indicating that someone was calling Tamelin. She crossed the room to stand in front of the comm centre, relieved to escape from Qui-Gon's intense gaze. "Yes?" she answered.

"Tam, it's Nils. You got visual?" came the voice from the centre.

"Hi Nils," Tamelin replied, activating the screen. Nils Lars' face appeared before her eyes. 

"How are you?" Nils asked, an almost imperceptible strain around the corners of his eyes.

"Fine, and Keiran?"

"She's cooking for an army," Nils responded, avoiding the answer that Tamelin really wanted. "Are you still coming over? Your brother and his friend are welcome, of course, unless you have already made other plans."

Mace and Qui-Gon exchanged surprised glances, each knowing that it was an unexpected gift to have the chance to talk to Ben's father. 

After a quick look at Mace for confirmation, Tamelin told Nils when to expect them and the trio headed to the Lars home.

*****

Tamelin, Mace, and Qui-Gon arrived at the Lars' home twenty minutes later, right on schedule. As Qui-Gon crossed the threshold of the Lars residence, his step faltered. The odd sense of loss that he had been experiencing ever since Keiran left with Ben suddenly disappeared. He looked at Mace only to receive an unreadable look from his friend. As they entered the house, Tamelin introduced the two men to Nils, who was waiting for them. He eyed the two large men, sizing them up. Suddenly, the nagging memory that had been bothering him came to light as he felt the same, inexplicable *thing* emanating from these two men that he had felt from Ben just after the baby's birth. He felt his throat go dry.

That evening, talk around the dinner table centred both on some of the missions that the two Jedi had been on and Nils' business. Nils purposely asked the two Jedi questions about their lives, hoping to gain an understanding of the kind of life that his son might have. The two women remained strangely silent. Keiran was silent because her mind was still occupied with the worry that she could lose the son that she had waited so long for. Besides, listening to the Jedi talk about the constant demands placed on them and the dangers that they had faced was only making her worry more. She didn't want her son to have such a hard life, even if the Jedi claimed it was well worth it. 

Tamelin, on the other hand, was just plain speechless as she listened to Mace and Qui-Gon talk. She had never heard her brother speak so openly or frankly about his life before. Listening to him now, she began to suspect that he had never told her all the details because he didn't want her to worry over him. She also knew that he didn't really enjoy talking about such personal events with other people. Even now, he didn't particularly like telling these stories to Nils and Keiran, but he felt he owed them the unedited truth if they were expected to make a decision about their son's life. 

While the adults discussed his future, baby Ben slept throughout the entire dinner. When he did wake, he was content to play with his pudgy little toes, which he had managed to free from the blankets.

At the table, Qui-Gon felt a strange tingle in the back of his mind as he sensed the baby wake. There was something so unique about the boy that it almost scared him. Unable to focus his mind on the conversation around him, he excused himself from the table. Without even consciously thinking about it, he ventured into Ben's room, as if he knew the layout of the home. 

Towering over the crib he leaned over to look into Ben's blue eyes. The baby locked his gaze on the Jedi and cooed softly. With a sense of bewilderment, Qui-Gon realized that he didn't feel the normal apprehension around Ben that babies usually caused in him. Slowly, he reached over and lifted the boy out of the crib.

*****

In the dining room, Keiran shivered. Instinctively she rose, feeling a sudden driving need to go to her son. Mace reached out to stop her by gently grasping her arm. He slowly shook his head, knowing without any words being spoken what she was thinking. Keiran sought her husband's face. Nils too shook his head and said, "Leave him, Keiran."

"It is for the best, Keiran," Mace added. "There seems to be some odd link between the two. I cannot explain it."

Keiran felt her knees weaken. Fearing she would hit the floor if she didn't sit down soon, she slowly sank back into her seat. Her eyes focussed briefly on each person sitting at the table, but she couldn't bear the looks in their eyes.

Before anyone could speak, Qui-Gon returned to the dining room with Ben resting quietly in his arms. He placed the baby into his mother's arms, saying, "I think someone may be hungry." A gentle smile played across the man's face as he looked into Keiran's eyes, trying to help ease the pain he saw there.

Keiran all but snatched Ben away from Qui-Gon, feeling herself panicking over seeing her son resting so comfortably in the Jedi's arms. This was all moving too fast. She needed time to think. Keiran turned her eyes away from Qui-Gon and focussed on the baby in her arms. "It's all right, sweetheart," she whispered brokenly to the child. "I'll protect you."

"Keiran..." Qui-Gon began, placing a hand on Keiran's shoulder.

Keiran sprang out of her chair as if she'd been burned. "Don't touch me!" she cried. She turned her angry gaze away from Qui-Gon and over to Mace. "It was a mistake for you to come here! I can't deal with this anymore!" she said, feeling a sob rising in her chest. 

Nils went to his wife and pulled her into his arms. Keiran hid her face in his shoulder, unable to look at the Jedi any longer. Nils felt her trembling and knew she was very close to losing her control completely. 

"I'm sorry," Nils said to the Jedi, trying not to be angry at them but failing miserably. "I think you should go."

"Nils..." Tamelin began. 

"Please Tam!" Nils nearly shouted, feeling himself also coming dangerously close to losing his calm. 

"A choice must be made," Mace said, almost apologetically.

Keiran lifted her face to glower at the Jedi again. "You can't have my son!" she cried.

Tamelin reached out to grab her brother's arm. "We have to go," she said with steel in her voice. She knew Keiran well enough to know that now was not the time to pressure her on this issue. She turned to Qui-Gon, who didn't look ready to give in yet. "We're leaving, Qui-Gon."

Mace rose from the table and tilted his head forward in a respectful bow to Keiran and Nils. "Thank you for the dinner," he said simply, turning and walking away.

Qui-Gon stood immobilized for a few moments, staring at Nils, Keiran and Ben. Finally, he gave them the same bow that Mace had just demonstrated. "You know where to find us if you need to speak to us again," he said. However, from the stony expressions on their faces, Qui-Gon couldn't help feeling that he would probably never hear from Keiran and Nils again.

As Qui-Gon left, Tamelin glanced over at her friends. "I'm so sorry," she said to them. Nils just nodded in return and Tamelin followed her brother and Qui-Gon out.

*****

As Mace, Qui-Gon, and Tamelin left the Lars home, Tamelin hugged her brother's arm. Even though the evening had ended badly, all of the discussion about Mace's and Qui-Gon's lives had been enlightening for her. She had learned many things about her brother that she hadn't known, making it difficult for her to stay angry at him. It made her to want to keep him close as they made their way through the streets to her home.

Qui-Gon was silent, feeling the odd sense of loss again. He shook his head and his shoulders slumped a little. "They are going to say no," he said sadly.

"You do not know that for sure, my friend. The Force works in mysterious ways at times. You know that as well as I do," Mace said.

"We leave tomorrow, Mace. There is no time for them to change their minds."

Mace wisely said nothing, sensing Qui-Gon's stubborn streak settling in. If Qui-Gon wanted to be melancholy, Mace knew that there was nothing he could say to change the man's mind, and he didn't feel like arguing with his long time friend at the moment. Besides, Tamelin's grip on his arm tightened abruptly, pulling his thoughts away from Qui- Gon.

"You're leaving tomorrow?" she said. "But you came earlier than you were supposed to. I thought we had a week," Tamelin cried.

"I'm sorry, Tam," Mace replied sincerely. "We are needed elsewhere."

*****

As their guests left, Keiran and Nils stood in silence, both dreading the discussion that they knew was facing them. "I don't want to talk about this, Nils," Keiran said as she pulled away from her husband, avoiding eye-contact and retreating up the stairs to Ben's room. "I have to feed Ben," she called over her shoulder as she disappeared around the corner.

Nils sighed as he watched his wife escape with their son. He put his hands in his pockets and began pacing the floor as he went over the conversation they'd had earlier with the Jedi. Mace and Qui-Gon had used their words sparingly, but everything that they'd said had been so full of conviction that Nils had felt almost able to reach out and touch their certainty. They truly believed that Ben's future was destined to lie with them. Reluctantly, Nils had to admit to himself that he didn't understand everything the Jedi had said about this mystical Force of theirs. He probably couldn't have understood it all, even if he'd wanted to. That thought bothered him more than he wanted to admit. If he couldn't comprehend the type of gift that his son had, then how would he be able to help Ben deal with it as the boy grew up?

Before Nils even realized it, almost an hour had passed. Keiran came down and found him staring at her with an expression that she did not like. She had the sinking feeling that Nils was seriously thinking about sending Ben away with the Jedi. "I don't want to lose our baby, Nils," she said, trying to control her alarm. "He's ours."

"I know that, sweetheart," Nils replied, taking her in his arms, "but..."

"No!" Keiran cried angrily, pushing away from her husband. She couldn't believe that Nils was against her, too. "No buts! I don't want to hear anymore!"

Nils watched with sorrow as she turned away from him. "Keiran, please. You have to admit that Ben is different. Remember when he was born? We both felt it... whatever 'it' was. Don't try to deny it," he argued, as Keiran crossed her arms and stubbornly ignored him. "Couldn't you feel the same thing from those men?" He placed a large hand on Keiran's shoulder and turned her to face him.

She quickly looked at the floor as her tearful blue eyes met Nils' sorrowful gaze. The anguished mother could not face the equally anguished father. She could not dispute the feeling that they had both felt when Ben had been placed in Keiran's arms, shortly after his birth. Nor could she deny that she had felt the same thing coming from the Jedi. 

Nils again pulled her into his arms, letting her weep on his shoulder. This time she did not resist. A few long moments later, Keiran had composed herself and she disentangled herself from Nils. "Are you ready to discuss this?" he asked softly. 

"No, but I guess I have no choice," she answered honestly.

Glad that she was finally willing to listen to him, Nils put his own grief aside and took a deep breath. "It's not easy to say this," he began, "but I think we've got to step back and look at what's best for our son."

Keiran gasped in disbelief, her eyes going wide. "Best for our son?" she repeated incredulously. "The best thing for our son is being with the people that love him."

"There's no disputing the fact that we love him," Nils said, "but sometimes loving someone means letting them go." Nils paused, nearly faltering over the difficult words. "The Jedi can give him something that we can't, Keiran. I hate it more than I've ever hated anything in my life, but it's true! They share something with him that we could never possibly understand!" he continued, his voice rising as his frustration came bubbling to the surface. 

"We are his parents, Nils!" Keiran shot back abruptly. "What about all the things that *we* can give him that the Jedi can't? They can't love him like we do. They can't just replace us!"

Nils softened his voice. "Sweetheart, I don't think the Jedi want to replace us," he said, pausing to let Keiran cool down a little bit. "Besides, I can't explain how I know it, but I don't think Ben will ever be neglected by the Jedi. True, they won't be his parents, but I think they'll truly care for him." 

Keiran said nothing. She didn't want to admit that there was anything important that she and Nils could not provide for Ben, but deep in her heart, she knew it was true. Not being able to understand the Force did not seem like such a terrible thing to her, but she knew deep down that it would be terrible to her son.

"If... if he did go," Keiran whispered, her voice almost unheard by Nils, "he would probably forget us. We'd be strangers to him," she added, closing her eyes against the pain. "I don't think I could bear that."

"He won't forget us," Nils said firmly. "In his heart, he will *always* know us."

Keiran looked doubtful, so Nils continued, "Ben is our son," he said adamantly, "and he always will be, no matter where he goes or what he does. Besides, we've already been seeing tiny changes in him. Neither of us have wanted to admit it, but we can't stop change, Keiran."

A cry from the top of the stairs prevented Keiran from having to answer. "I'll go to him," Keiran said numbly, running back up the stairs.

*****

Keiran changed Ben into a dry diaper and then sat with him in the rocking chair. She stared down at the tiny face that was so similar to her own. Ben cooed and then yawned up at her, making her smile sadly. She would miss this. As the little boy drifted off to sleep, she placed him back into his crib and enjoyed watching him sleep. Her mind awhirl, she watched the chubby cheeks dimple and smooth as Ben dreamed of unknown things. Tears streamed from her eyes as she observed her beloved baby boy.

*****

Early the next morning, Keiran came down the stairs holding Ben close, with a travel bag slung over her shoulder. She found Nils pacing the floor again and knew that he had hardly slept. After their initial discussion the night before, they hadn't said much else about the Jedi. They had just sat quietly with their son, taking comfort from each other's company. 

"We have to go. They'll be leaving soon," Keiran said as she stepped from the bottom stair. The calm with which she spoke covered the turmoil that she felt inside.

Nils looked up in surprise as she spoke. He had no idea whether to be relieved or upset. "Are you sure, Keiran?" he asked breathlessly. Before she could answer he went on, "You know I think it would be best for Ben to be trained to use his gift, but..."

"I'm sure, Nils," she said quickly. "Let's just go before I change my mind," she added, her voice weary and full of sadness.

*****

The same morning, Tamelin took the two Jedi to their transport with a heavy heart. Not only was she feeling the loss of her brother, but as her anger at the two Jedi had begun to subside, those earlier, confusing feelings that she had experienced upon meeting his friend had returned. Worse yet, the feelings were even more intense than before. She wanted desperately to say something to him about it, even if it would make him think she was crazy, but could not bring herself to. More than likely she would never see the handsome Jedi again.

Qui-Gon wasn't surprised that they had heard no word from the Larses. He again felt the sense of loss that stabbed at him every time he thought about leaving Corellia without the baby in tow. The feeling seemed to be intensifying the closer that they got to the transport, nearly crushing him. At the docking bay, he gave a small smile and a farewell wave to Tamelin, regretting that their first meeting had been so full of tension. Then, he retreated to his and Mace's assigned quarters aboard the transport to meditate, hoping to rid himself of the unwelcome feelings. 

Mace watched the retreating form of his friend with a sympathetic shake of his head. He didn't pretend to understand this sudden bond that Qui-Gon seemed to feel with the boy, but he knew Qui-Gon well, and had rarely seen the man become so attached in such a short time. Dismissing the thoughts from his head, he turned for one final hug from his sister after Qui-Gon had disappeared into the ship. "I'll see you again," he said, bending to kiss her forehead in farewell. He too entered the ship. Knowing that his friend needed to be alone, he purposely avoided the cramped quarters that he and Qui-Gon would share; instead, he went to tell the captain that they were aboard and were ready to go.

However, before he made it to the cockpit, Mace could hear his name being called from outside the slowly closing ramp. He turned to stop the ramp and looked out through the gap that still remained. He immediately recognized the person calling his name, and he activated the opening sequence without hesitation. The ramp slowly began to lower. When there was a big enough opening for him to fit through, he exited the ship.

Outside on the landing platform, Keiran Lars stood holding Ben, tears streaming down her cheeks. Nils' arms encircled both his wife and son. A small travel bag sat in front of them, packed with all of Ben's belongings and more than enough supplies for the two day trip to Coruscant.

Nils cleared his constricted throat and said, "We talked last night and decided that the best thing for Ben would be for him to be with those who share his gift." He turned to face Keiran, looking into her pained eyes. He tried to remain strong as he started to lift Ben from her arms.

Keiran tightened her grip on the baby and whispered, "Wait." She ran a pale hand over the soft blond hair and down the chubby cheek. "You be a good student, Ben," she whispered to the child. "Learn well and please..." she paused, choking on the words, "... please, always remember that Mother loves you more than anything." She kissed each of his tiny fists, his chubby cheeks, his nose and forehead, and then reluctantly released him to his father. She turned away and into Tamelin's waiting arms, unable to watch her son being carried into the ship and out of her life. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and began to sob.

Nils tried to block out the sound of his wife's heart- wrenching sobs. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He hugged Ben to his chest, kissing the boy's downy head and then silently he handed him over to Mace Windu. Mace took the boy without a word, putting one hand on Nils' shoulder and squeezing gently. Then, he lifted the bag from the ground and reentered the ship.

Keiran turned from her friend's embrace when she heard the metallic clang of the ramp closing and the repulsorlifts engaging as the ship readied for take off. She sank to her knees as the ship lifted and then disappeared into the sky above as her baby flew away with two relative strangers. Nils lifted her from the ground and carried her to their speeder. It was done.

*****

Inside the ship, Mace carried the baby to the closed door of the quarters that he was to share with Qui-Gon, and now Ben. He tapped the chime. When there was no answer, he knew that Qui-Gon was either asleep or deep in meditation. He entered the room to find his friend sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed with a sense of peace engulfing him. He quietly crossed the floor to place Ben's bag in the closet, feeling the shift in Qui-Gon's consciousness as the other Jedi came out of his meditation. Before a word could be spoken, Mace said, "I have something for you." He turned and crossed the room, placing Ben in Qui-Gon's arms and then left the two alone.

Qui-Gon sat in the middle of the floor, hardly able to believe that which was right in front of him. The sense of loss disappeared from his being. Holding the cooing baby in his arms, he nearly cried over the sacrifice that the Larses had made. Their loss had to be a hundred times what he'd been feeling. He reached out tentatively with the Force, trying to touch the baby's mind. A tiny part of Ben's future flashed through his mind and he gazed down at the boy with an amused half-smile. "Well, Padawan," he said to the boy, "nice to meet you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Part two: Twelve years later]

Obi-Wan Kenobi was in trouble. Looking up at the law enforcement official's frowning face, he knew that there was no way he was going to be able to explain this one to his Master.

The burly officer glared at the boy in front of him. The kid looked innocent enough. He wore simple yet respectable clothes, and there was something in his blue eyes that made the officer wonder if he had grabbed the right person. Still, he'd seen clean-cut boys before who were nothing more than holy terrors, and he was not inclined to give *any* adolescent boy the benefit of the doubt. He had learned long ago not to trust appearances.

"I'm telling you I didn't do it," Obi-Wan said, trying to stamp down his frustration. A Jedi was supposed to be calm and patient. He had to trust the Force that this would all work out once his Master showed up to explain things to this hulking officer. But where was Qui-Gon? It wasn't like him to be so hard to reach, and surely he could sense Obi- Wan's despair.

"Yeah, I've heard that before... from just about every little scamp I bring in here," the officer replied. "Every thief claims he's innocent."

Obi-Wan sighed and crossed his arms stubbornly, trying hard not to pout. 

A knock on the office door caught the officer's attention. Both Obi-Wan and the man turned to examine the new arrival. It was a middle-aged gentleman, perhaps in his early forties. Streaks of grey started at his temples and snaked their way up into the rest of the man's brown hair. He was not a remarkably handsome man, but there was a gentleness in his eyes that Obi-Wan immediately liked. And oddly enough, there was something almost familiar and comforting about the man.

"Excuse me, officer," the man said, and Obi-Wan felt a slight shiver. It was almost as if he knew that voice. "I was told that you've caught one of the boys that broke into my store?"

"You must be Mr. Lars," the officer said.

The man nodded and reached out to shake the officer's hand. "Yes, that's me. Where is the boy?"

The officer turned to glare at Obi-Wan again, and Obi- Wan glared back, making the officer feel uneasy. Since when did a twelve-year-old boy make him nervous?

"This is the little delinquent," the officer replied.

"I didn't steal anything!" Obi-Wan said angrily, this time turning his plea to the storeowner. "I didn't have anything to do with that group of boys."

Nils Lars stared at the boy in front of him and for a moment was speechless. He knew most of the boys that hung around in this neighbourhood, and he knew most of the troublemakers. He also knew that he had never seen this particular child before, and yet he felt inexplicably drawn towards the boy. Obi-Wan stared back at him curiously; his blue eyes evaluating Nils as much as Nils had been evaluating him. The boy had sandy blond hair that was cropped short against his head, and there was a single, thin, long braid that hung down from behind the youth's right ear. 

"What's your name?" Nils asked.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," the boy immediately replied. A look of surprise passed across Nils' face. "You seem surprised."

"Oh, it's just that 'Kenobi' is an unusual name around here. Although, it was my wife's maiden name," he added with a bit of a smile.

Obi-Wan could not help smiling back, but even as he did so, he felt uncertainty starting to well up in him. There was just something about this man that had him on edge. He didn't think there was anything bad about Nils, but there was definitely something in him that felt threatening to Obi-Wan. It was almost as if he could disturb the status quo that Obi-Wan was comfortable with in his life.

"So you say you don't have anything to do with the thieves who broke into my store," Nils said.

Obi-Wan quickly nodded his head. "Yes sir," he said. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." Although, he had the funniest feeling that the Force had put him in that place at that particular time for a reason. He just didn't know what it was.

"And what are you doing running around the streets of Corellia all by yourself? You can't be more than 12 or 13 years old," Nils said.

"I'm almost 13," Obi-Wan replied indignantly. 

"He claims he was with a guardian and that they got separated," the officer interrupted sarcastically. "Problem is, nobody can find this guardian of his. As far as we can tell, he doesn't exist."

Obi-Wan glared at the officer again, making the man squirm. "He does exist, and he'll be here as soon as he can!"

"Well, until then, little man," the officer snarled, "you'll be spending your time in a holding cell." 

Obi-Wan didn't reply, but Nils did, feeling upset that the boy would be treated like a common criminal when there was no proof that he was involved in the robbery. "Is that really necessary?" Nils asked the officer.He couldn't explain it, but in his heart, he knew that Obi-Wan had not been involved.

The officer turned to look down his nose at Nils. "Mr. Lars, leave this to us. We've caught him, and we'll deal with him." 

Nils didn't like the sound of that, and he felt the need to somehow spare Obi-Wan from this man's 'dealings.' "Well," Nils replied, his voice turning icy, "unless I press charges against the boy, you have to let him go, right?"

The officer frowned. "I wouldn't advise that, Mr. Lars."

Nils turned to evaluate the boy again. He opened his mouth to tell the officer to let the boy go, but then closed it again without uttering a word. For some reason, an aching sense of loss stopped him from forcing the officer to let Obi-Wan leave. Besides, he reasoned with himself, he couldn't just let the boy go until they had found his guardian.

"Maybe we can come up with some kind of an arrangement," Nils said.

The officer's eyebrow raised slightly and Nils knew he had caught the man's attention. "Like what?"

"How about I won't drop the charges just yet, but instead of locking this boy up in a holding cell, you put him in my custody until his guardian comes to collect him," Nils said. "I could use some help in fixing the mess that was made in my store. If the boy was indeed part of the group of thieves that broke in, then it's only right he help me clean it up. If he wasn't, then I can compensate him for his help later on."

Obi-Wan tried to hide his shock over the sudden turn of events. There was something definitely unreal about the whole situation. Besides, he didn't feel like he needed to be taken care of. And where *was* Qui-Gon anyway? He had to know by now that Obi-Wan was missing.

The officer stopped to think for a moment. From the look on Nils' face, he could tell that if he refused the offer, Nils would set the boy free. The officer hated the idea of Obi-Wan going free more than he hated the idea of releasing him into Nils' custody, so he finally agreed. "Fine," he said. "But the minute you turn your back on him, he'll be off. I know how these delinquents are."

Obi-Wan silently fumed. He was NOT a delinquent!

"I'll handle him," Nils said, sounding as irritated with the officer as Obi-Wan was. "You just be sure to tell his guardian, if he ever comes, where the boy is."

The officer muttered something under his breath and Nils turned to Obi-Wan. 

"Well, Obi-Wan Kenobi, looks like you'll be coming with me for awhile," Nils said, trying to make the boy feel at home, even though he could see Obi-Wan's hesitation. Something in the way the boy was looking at him made him stop and do a double-take. That was the same way that Keiran often looked at him. It was almost uncanny.

Obi-Wan weighed his options. He could stay and enjoy the pleasant company of his hulking jailer, or he could go with Nils Lars, who appeared to be nice enough, and wait for Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I guess so," he said. "At least until my guardian clears up this mess."

As Obi-Wan stood, Nils put his hand on the boy's shoulder, steering him out of the office. They received a few curious glances as they passed rows of quietly working, stiff-looking individuals, and Obi-Wan felt a small wave of relief at getting out of the stifling environment. As they stepped through the glassy doors of the building and into the much livelier bustle of the outside world, Obi-Wan let out a tiny sigh. On impulse, he took one quick look around, hoping in vain that he'd see the familiar, powerful form of his Master coming towards them. His heart sank a little when he realized that there was no Qui-Gon, only Nils.

Nils led Obi-Wan towards a shiny new landspeeder. A young boy, maybe a year or two younger than Obi-Wan, sat in the passenger seat. He had the same dark brown hair as Nils and Obi-Wan guessed immediately that he was Nils' son.

"Obi-Wan," Nils said, "this is my son, Owen."

Owen looked at Obi-Wan curiously. "Hullo!" Owen greeted him.

Obi-Wan tried to smile. He was starting to feel more and more uneasy with each passing moment. Owen's presence seemed to evoke the same unsettling familiarity that he'd felt when he'd first met Nils. More than anything it made him long for Qui-Gon to be there. He felt he could handle anything if he knew that Qui-Gon was beside him. Besides, he was starting to worry about his Master now. What if something had happened to Qui-Gon that was preventing him from coming to get Obi-Wan?

"Obi-Wan is going to be staying with us until we can track down his guardian," Nils said to Owen, opening the door for Obi- Wan and letting the boy climb into the back seat of the speeder. "What's your guardian's name, Obi- Wan?"

Obi-Wan settled himself into the back seat. "His name is Qui- Gon Jinn. He's a Jedi Master."

Nils turned to stare at Obi-Wan in shock. Could it be? The last time he'd heard the name "Qui-Gon Jinn," was the day that the Jedi Knight had taken his son away from him. Nils saw Obi-Wan again, as if for the first time. Ben would have been 12 years old by now. Nils imagined he would look pretty much like Obi-Wan. 

"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan asked, suddenly feeling self- conscious under Nils' scrutinizing stare.

Obi-Wan's voice seemed to snap Nils out of his daze. He knew he couldn't say anything about his suspicions to the boy. He also didn't think he should mention it to Keiran just yet either. She had taken it hard when they had lost Ben and she rarely spoke of it now. In fact, Keiran had been so upset over it that she had refused to tell Owen about his brother because she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the inquisitive child's questions. Deep down, Nils had disagreed with the decision. However, for Keiran's sake, he had finally given in and agreed not to tell Owen, at least until the boy was older.

"Nothing's wrong," Nils said, turning forward. He started up the speeder and headed for home. 

Owen decided he was going to like Obi-Wan; he turned to the older boy and started chattering about his home, his parents, his toy speeder collection and anything else that caught his fancy.

Obi-Wan suppressed a grin. As nervous as he might feel about this sudden turn of events, it was hard to stay grim in the face of Owen's excited chatter.

*****

From the shadows beside the building that the others had just left, Qui-Gon Jinn watched the speeder pull away and he sighed sadly. It was done. Now all he could do was wait. Qui-Gon pulled his comlink out of his pocket and flipped it on. In a few moments, he got his reply. 

"Gone already, is he," Master Yoda said immediately, seeing the bereft look on Qui-Gon's face. "Necessary this is, Qui-Gon," Yoda added. 

Qui-Gon nodded. He knew it was necessary. It was just that Obi-Wan had been his Padawan for the past four years, and he had become very attached to the boy. In many ways, Obi-Wan was the son that he would never have. It hurt to send him back to the parents that had brought him into the world.

"I know, Master," Qui-Gon said. "And I know that Obi-Wan is ready to learn about his birth family. Still, this will not be easy." _For any of us,_ he added silently.

Yoda nodded in understanding. He hated to admit it to anyone, but Obi-Wan was one of his favourite students. The boy had always made him smile during his days in the Jedi Temple, when Yoda had instructed him. Yoda knew he would always have a soft-spot for Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

"A necessary part of every apprentice's training, this is. Learn, he will, about the family that bore him, and then choose he must between the life that they could give him and the life that the Jedi could offer."

Qui-Gon did not reply. It was a standard part of any Padawan's training. As soon as the Council deemed that the student was ready to handle the burden of knowing who his or her family was, then the Padawan was sent to meet them. It was true that some Padawans had decided to quit the Jedi Order after meeting their birth family, but it was very rare. It was a way to test a young Jedi's commitment before carrying on with their training. In a way, Qui-Gon knew he should feel proud because the Council's decision to send Obi-Wan to the Larses showed that they felt he was learning and maturing quickly. He just prayed that when this was all over, he would still have his Padawan. After twelve years, he finally felt that he could truly understand part of what Keiran Lars must have felt when he and Mace had taken Ben from them. 

*****

Keiran Lars smiled as she heard the speeder pull up at the front of the house. Her son and husband would be coming in hungry and hopefully with the matter at the store cleared up. She carried a cup and saucer over toward the table in the dining room. The door burst open and Owen entered, full of excitement.

"Mom, Mom!" he called. "Come meet my new friend!" 

Keiran stepped over to the doorway of the dining room, cup and saucer still in hand, to see what her son's excitement was all about. The first thing that she saw was Owen and then Nils; she looked at her husband with curiosity. 

Nils, seeing his wife's confusion, stepped to the side as Obi- Wan Kenobi moved into the foyer of the Lars home. 

Keiran gasped and dropped the cup and saucer, her hand flying to her throat when she saw the boy standing in her doorway. A disturbing familiarity flashed through her mind as she looked at the boy. Then, as quickly as it had first appeared, the familiar flash vanished. She dropped to her knees at the same time that both boys stepped forward to help pick up the shards that had once been her cup and saucer. As they picked up the pieces, Keiran's eyes locked onto an identical pair staring straight back at her. She held Obi-Wan's gaze for a moment, feeling like she was looking into a mirror. It was eerie. 

"Mom, are you okay?" Owen asked, his concern for his mother evident. 

Owen's question was enough to break Keiran out of her momentary reverie. She lifted a hand to Owen's face and nodded with a reassuring smile. "Yes, I'm fine. It just slipped. I'm sorry for worrying you." She dropped her hand. "So, Owen," she asked, "who's your friend?" 

"Oh, Mom, I would like you to meet Obi-Wan Kenobi," Owen said, an excited, boyish grin breaking out on his face. Next, he turned to his new friend. "Obi-Wan, this is my mother, Keiran Lars."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lars," Obi-Wan said, bowing slightly to the woman. 

"It's nice to... nice to meet you Obi-Wan Kenobi," Keiran said hesitantly. She couldn't help feeling like this was not the first time she'd met the young man, but she knew that she would have remembered a unique name like Obi- Wan. She was even more certain that she would have remembered this unsettlingly unique boy. Obi- Wan gave her a shy smile, and unbidden, a long-buried memory flashed through Keiran's mind; Ben had often smiled at her like that. Keiran's eyes widened a little and she quickly forced that memory from her consciousness. She was not willing to open up that particular wound again. Instead, Keiran decided to concentrate on something else. "Obi-Wan, who are your parents?" she asked, trying to start a conversation. "My maiden name is Kenobi. Maybe we're related."

"I don't know who my parents are, Mrs. Lars," Obi-Wan said quietly, getting a funny feeling in his stomach. 

"I'm sorry," Keiran replied, briefly resting one hand gently on Obi-Wan's head. She understood all too well what it was like to lose someone special.

"Sweetheart, I think I smell something burning," Nils said, trying to distract Keiran before she asked too many more questions. He needed to talk to her before they started delving into this strange boy's past.

Keiran gasped as she realized that Nils was right. She quickly dashed off to the kitchen and finished preparing the meal, calling Owen in to set an extra place for their guest. 

*****

Over dinner, Nils explained the encounter with the official who had been holding Obi-Wan and how they had ended up bringing Obi-Wan home. Keiran was greatly relieved that the boy had not been involved with the thieves and was deeply concerned that he had lost his guardian. Before she could ask who he was and where he had last seen him, Owen asked to be excused.

"I want to show Obi-Wan my room. Can I please Dad?" Owen asked. Obi-Wan hid his smile. Nils and Keiran might be making him feel strangely, but he felt such a kinship with Owen that the other boy just seemed to lift his spirits. 

Nils glanced from one boy to the other, just barely catching the fleeting grin that passed over Obi-Wan's features. "All right, but take your dishes into the kitchen first," Nils replied. 

"We will!" Owen said, already half out of his seat. Obi- Wan followed suit. 

***** 

As the two boys entered Owen's room Obi-Wan stopped dead in his tracks. The most overwhelming sense of déjà vu washed over him. He knew he had never seen this room before, because he had never been on Corellia before, but still the familiarity was there. It was like stepping into another life, and the eerie feeling stayed with him as Owen showed him around. 

"I want to show you something," Owen said, switching all the lights off in the room and climbing rapidly up onto his bed. He moved over to the side closest to the wall and Obi- Wan watched curiously as Owen laid down on his back to stare up at the ceiling. "Come look up here," he said, never taking his eyes off of the ceiling. Obi-Wan shrugged good-naturedly and climbed up onto the bed, laying down next to Owen. "My parents did that before I was born," Owen explained, pointing up with one small hand. 

Obi-Wan stared up at the ceiling with fascination. Embedded in the ceiling was a star chart that glowed slightly in the dark room. He studied it as Owen explained its meaning. 

"My mom and dad thought I would be born when the pattern of the stars would be just as they are in the ceiling, but I was born a month late... my birthday is actually two months from now. The stars had changed by then, but it was too late for them to fix it so they left it like this. Neat, huh?" 

"So this is for a month from now? It matches my birthday then," Obi-Wan said softly.

Owen turned his head to the side to stare at Obi-Wan, and the two boys lay next to each in silence for a few moments. "It's weird isn't it," Owen said quietly. 

Obi-Wan turned his head until his eyes met Owen's. "What is?" 

"I dunno. I can't explain it. I feel like I know you," Owen replied, his brow furrowing in mild confusion. "Does that sound dumb?" 

Obi-Wan quickly shook his head, the corner of his mouth curving up into a smile and a twinkle appearing in his blue eyes. "Not to me it doesn't. To tell you the truth, I'm glad you feel that way because then it means that I'm not going crazy after all. Or at least if I *am* going crazy, then I'm not alone," he added with a grin. 

Owen giggled. Somehow it just felt natural to be laying here in the dark next to this Jedi student, whispering about things. Obi-Wan shivered slightly, uncomfortable with the sensation. He wasn't sure if he was prepared to deal with the implications of where his thoughts were going. 

Suddenly, Obi-Wan rose from the bed and headed out to the living-room, where he could hear the voices of the adults speaking softly. He stopped in the middle of the room, facing the Larses, his mind racing. 

Both adults' heads snapped up when he entered the room, and for a moment the three of them just stared blankly at each other. 

*****

Outside of the Lars home, Qui-Gon Jinn stood with his hand raised as if to knock on the door. Suddenly, he sensed the approach of another being. He turned to see if the person was stopping at the Lars home or if they were just passing by. His breath caught in recognition.

A dark-skinned female approached the steps that the Jedi Master was standing on, and she looked up in surprise to see someone already at the door. She took one look into the intense blue eyes staring back at her and took a step back. They seemed so familiar. Abruptly, recognition settled in, and the irrational thought that Qui-Gon was here to take the Lars' second son caused her to panic. She opened her mouth and started to scream, wanting to alert her friends. 

Sensing the woman's scream before it reached her lips, Qui-Gon moved like lightning, covering her mouth with his hand and pulling her into the shadows at the side of the house. "Tamelin, please! I'm not here to hurt your friends," he said, using his most reassuring voice. The woman was shaking in his arms. "Are you going to scream?" 

Tamelin Starr shook her head, her spongy curls brushing against Qui-Gon's neatly trimmed beard.

Slowly Qui-Gon pulled his hand away from the woman's mouth, his grip on her loosening as well. 

The moment his grip loosened, she bolted away from him and toward the Lars' front door. 

It only took a few of Qui-Gon's long strides to catch her, again clamping his hand across her mouth. "Tamelin listen to me! Don't scream and don't run. Please, just listen," he implored, feeling she would obey as he dropped his hand and turned her to face him. "Do you remember what it was like the first time Mace came home?" he said quickly, not giving her the time to react again.

She nodded, frowning a little. Then, realizing what Qui- Gon meant by the question, she gasped. "You mean... are you trying to tell me that... that Ben is in there?" she said in amazement. 

Qui-Gon nodded.

Tamelin broke away from Qui-Gon and started for the door, feeling a rush of excitement, wanting to see Ben for herself. She had loved the boy so much and it had been far too long since she'd seen him. 

He caught her arm shaking his head at her. "You can't go... not yet. They're not ready." 

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying to ignore the sense of alarm that ran through her. 

"They haven't figured it out yet," Qui-Gon explained, trying not to sound like he was talking down to her. "We have to wait." 

"You mean you sent him in there without telling any of them?" she almost yelled. "You stupid Jedi! Don't you know what that could do? Owen doesn't even know he has a brother. The shock to Keiran could... well... shock her!" she finished lamely, worried for her friends.

Qui-Gon sighed. Honestly, the woman was exasperating! He was tired and worried about his Padawan. He did not need an irrational female calling him names. "Look, we had to handle this one differently. I couldn't very well just show up on their doorstep now could I? I mean, I am the one who took him. What do you think that would have done to them?" 

Tamelin felt her shock wearing off, and she looked closely at Qui-Gon for the first time. She could see that he was tired and was under a great deal of stress. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," she said. She remembered back to her first encounter with this mysterious man. She had found him attractive then, but now he had matured into a rather distinguished looking gentleman. His hair was longer, hanging just below his shoulders, and he had grown a beard and moustache. "How long will it take?" she asked, trying to ignore the familiar stirrings within herself. 

"I have no idea," he replied simply. 

"I thought you Jedi could see the future." 

Again he sighed. This woman assumed far too much. There was something else about her that was affecting him; something that he could not put a name to. At least, not yet anyway.

Noting the disconcerted look on his face, she apologized and then invited him to her home. "You look like a person who hasn't eaten in a while," she said sympathetically. She was starting to feel bad about her silly display. "Let me make this all up to you," she added, in way of a peace offering. Besides, she couldn't help admitting to herself that she wanted to spend more time with him, get to know him, and try to determine exactly what he was doing to her peace of mind. 

He nodded, not having anywhere else to go and feeling that Obi-Wan would be spending the night, if not longer, with the Larses before things were fully out in the open. Plus, he had the desire to spend more time with Tamelin, too, even if she was exasperating. 

*****

In the living-room of the Lars house, Nils stared speechlessly at Obi-Wan for several minutes. He felt as if the boy was looking straight into his soul. He shivered and then asked, "What is it, son?"

Obi-Wan jerked out of his trance-like stare at the question, getting a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach at the word "son."

"You don't look very good, Obi-Wan," Keiran said with concern, rising and going over to the boy to feel his forehead. Her mother's heart reached out to this strange, and yet not so strange, child before her. She felt something familiar as she touched the warm skin.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes as the soft, cool hand of Keiran Lars rested on his forehead. She was holding his arm with her other hand and he felt comforted and safe for the first time in several hours.

"You do feel a bit warm. I think you boys should go to bed. Maybe we can find this mysterious guardian of yours in the morning." She reluctantly let go of his arm and called up the stairs to Owen, who was sitting on his bed wondering if Obi-Wan was going to return. "Owen, pull out those clothes that Beru's mother sent over the other day. Maybe something of Daro's will fit Obi-Wan." As Owen did as he was told, Keiran gave a smile to Obi-Wan. "Beru is Owen's best friend," she explained. "Her brother, Daro, is about your age. Their mother is always giving Owen all of Daro's outgrown clothes." 

Obi-Wan nodded in understanding. His mind was still racing with questions. Why were these people so familiar? How could he know that he'd seen Owen's star chart before? Was it at the Temple in the star maps room? Where was Qui- Gon? Was he hurt? Closing his eyes briefly, he tried once again to reach out with the Force to find his Master, but just like all the other times, it got him nowhere.

Keiran guided him back to Owen's room where the other boy had pulled a bag full of clothing out of his closet.

"Here, this looks like it will fit," Owen said, holding up a pair of blue pyjamas. "Maybe tomorrow I can take you to meet Beru. She's great... lots of fun," Owen added with an uncertain smile. He still couldn't figure out why Obi- Wan had taken off on him like that. They had just started to make a real connection. Had Owen said something wrong?

Obi-Wan tried to smile at Owen but the thought of spending a night without Qui-Gon was troubling him. They had been apart so little in the last four years that it felt really odd to be alone. All of his life, he could remember the piercing blue eyes of Qui-Gon Jinn watching over him. Those eyes were the first real memory Obi-Wan had. They had been peering over him, looming above his bed. He had only been two at the time, but he always had that memory to look back on and comfort himself with in times of trouble. Qui-Gon had told him that it was the first time that they had truly connected and that was why the memory had stayed with him. From that moment on, those blue eyes always seemed to have been there just when Obi-Wan felt he needed them. Now, for the first time when he needed Qui- Gon's piercing blue eyes to reassure him that things were going to be all right, they weren't there.

Wordlessly, he took the pyjamas and sighed. Despite whatever had happened to Qui-Gon, he was stuck here until he could find some guidance, either from his Master or from the Force. So far, he hadn't gotten anything from his Master, but the Force was telling him that he had to stay.

*****

Keiran returned to the living-room. Hands on her hips, she sent a determined, penetrating stare in her husband's direction. "There's something you're not telling me about that boy, isn't there?" she asked, her voice firm. A small part of Keiran's mind screamed at her that she didn't really have to ask Nils this question; she already knew the answer. However, just as she had done earlier, she pushed the thoughts out of her head to protect herself from her painful memories.

Nils' dark eyes closed momentarily. He was all too familiar with *that* tone of voice. Keiran was not going to let this drop until she was satisfied with the answer. Sighing he said, "Yes, Keiran, there is. I think you had better sit down."

Keiran didn't move, crossing her arms and jutting one hip out in defiance. "Out with it Nils!"

"Sweetheart, please," he pleaded. Seeing his wife's stubborn streak and knowing there would be no way around it, he sighed again, rubbing his hand across his face and through his hair. "I only know that he told me who his guardian is. Are you sure you don't want to sit down?"

Keiran shifted to her other foot in agitation. Not only was she being stubborn, she was also starting to get annoyed.

"He belongs to Qui-Gon Jinn," was all Nils said.

Keiran found herself wishing that she had taken her husband's advice. Her knees suddenly felt weak. Qui-Gon Jinn's face swam before her and she could clearly see the image of the man holding her baby boy in his arms. She gasped in surprise and in sudden, remembered pain.

Nils jumped from his seat, putting his arms around Keiran, who paled before his eyes.

"What... no... it can't be... Nils, what are you saying?" Keiran's words tumbled out of her mouth as Nils eased her into a chair.

"I don't know, sweetheart. I don't know. We need to find him. Ask him if..." Nils could not finish. The weight of his thoughts was too much to bear, and he was afraid to voice his thoughts out loud. Somehow, it would make the whole idea far too real, and he wasn't sure that he could bear it if he turned out to be wrong.

"Are you trying to say that Obi-Wan might be our... our Ben?" Keiran whispered the last word, ignoring all of the things that had seemed so familiar about the boy. 

"Search your heart, Keiran... think about it. I watched him all evening. There are so many things about him that are you. His eyes... his hair... the way he laughs... it took my breath away. He's..." tears had begun to form in the dark eyes and the man could not continue.

"I can't, Nils!" Keiran cried out, her voice cracking. "What if it isn't him and it's just some odd set of circumstances? What if it's just coincidence? I don't want to be hurt again." Keiran wanted to refuse to believe that what Nils thought could be true. It couldn't be possible that Obi-Wan Kenobi was really their little Benjamin Wade Lars. She could almost feel the tiny babe in her arms; the way he had felt before Nils had handed him over to the Jedi, Mace Windu. But something in the back of her mind and deep in her heart was telling her that he was Ben. She had the feeling that there had been no mistake or set of coincidences, just fact. Images of Obi-Wan from dinner came into her mind. She could almost count all of the times she'd felt as if she were looking into a mirror, and once, when he was telling them about some adventure that he had been on, she had seen Nils' mannerisms in the boy.

Abruptly, she popped up out of the chair that Nils had eased her into earlier. "We have to tell him," she said.

Nils grabbed her arm. "No, we may not be allowed to. We have to speak to Qui-Gon first, or to the other Jedi. Besides, we have no real proof. We can't just barge in there, wake him up and scare him half to death with news that we don't know for sure ourselves. We have to wait."

Keiran stared silently at her husband, warring with her own thoughts. She didn't want to agree with Nils, but deep down, she knew that he was right. It wouldn't be fair to Obi-Wan to drag him into this heartache until they were sure that they were right.

*****

Late that night, Qui-Gon Jinn sat with his head in his hands. Tamelin had gone to bed hours ago, but he could not sleep. No amount of Jedi concentration or relaxation was working. He was worried, and that worry was so strong that it was clouding his mind and his use of the Force. Master Yoda would be disappointed in him. He sighed and reached out with what little control he had left to touch his Padawan's mind. Obi-Wan was sleeping peacefully. _At least someone is,_ he thought almost bitterly to himself, immediately chastising himself for it. He was glad Obi-Wan was all right. The boy still didn't know that he was under his own roof, safe and secure in the home of his family. Qui-Gon had no idea if he should be happy about that or disappointed that the boy hadn't figured it out yet. However, he was happy to see that even though troubled by his feelings, Obi- Wan was able to sleep and get the rest he needed.

Qui-Gon shifted his reach to the minds of the other inhabitants of the Lars home. Owen Lars was sleeping soundly next to Obi-Wan, untroubled by what was going on around him. He could detect happiness in the boy, and he smiled to himself. He knew that Obi-Wan probably sensed the same happiness in Owen, and Qui- Gon knew that it would be a comfort to his Padawan to have the boy around. Nils Lars was also asleep, but not as soundly as his sons were. _Sons._ Plural. Whether or not they had accepted it yet, there were two Lars sons sleeping under the same roof. Two, not one, and one of them was Qui-Gon's ward, not his son, no matter how much Qui-Gon cared for him. Obi-Wan was not his, at least not until Obi-Wan himself made the choice. It would be up to the boy to decide if his future lay with his birth parents or with the "family" he had been raised by. 

The Jedi Order had no claim on those it trained. They had to have permission to take a child, and then when the child was old enough, he or she was given the chance to either stay with the Jedi or go on with their lives elsewhere. Sometimes, it seemed almost cruel. Some children were presented with great riches, some with poverty, others, like Qui-Gon, with nothing. He had heard of children making the choice to rejoin their families, some for selfish motives, others to try and help their families out of a bad situation. Either way, it was always painful for the teacher to let their Padawan go. Qui-Gon had no desire to become one of those bereft individuals.

Finally, Qui-Gon shifted his attention to Keiran Lars. She lay wide-awake, her thoughts and emotions in turmoil. She could not stop thinking of the two boys sharing a bed in the room where baby Ben had once slept alone. Was it at all possible that the adorable boy with the short hair and tiny braid hanging over his shoulder could be their Ben? Tears ran down the sides of her face and into her hair, which was identical in colour to Obi- Wan's.

Qui-Gon tore his mind away from the woman's presence. He couldn't take much more. This had to be the hardest trial that he had ever faced. No matter what the outcome, someone was going to be hurt. He knew that not only was this a test for Obi-Wan, but one for himself as well. His actions following Obi-Wan's decision would be scrutinized by the Council. They would be used to decide if he was worthy of having a Padawan at all, whether it meant keeping Obi-Wan or receiving a new one, depending on the choice that Obi- Wan would make.

He rose and sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor, reminding himself of the day that he and Mace had left Corellia with Ben, twelve and a half years ago. He had to find that same blessed peace that he had turned to when he'd thought he was leaving without the baby. It had worked then; it had to work now. And it did work... it just took much longer this time.

*****

The next morning, Keiran was up before the rest of her household, not having gotten much sleep. She saw no reason to stay in bed when she was not getting any rest anyway. Part of her suspected that there would be no rest for her until the situation with Obi-Wan was straightened out. She already had breakfast started when Nils entered. 

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said, sounding subdued as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Morning. Could you help? The griddle isn't warming up properly this morning." 

"Sure," he said. Nils moved toward the griddle and started tinkering with it. 

Obi-Wan entered the kitchen, having woken after a rather vivid dream. His heart was pounding and he could still feel the adrenaline rushing through his body. When he woke, he had instinctively reached out with the Force to find the two adults, knowing that if he found them he would also find safety. He stopped in the kitchen doorway, seeing Keiran stirring something and Nils standing with his back to the door.

Feeling the boy's presence, Keiran looked up from the bowl she was working with and locked eyes with Obi-Wan. She smiled and stopped stirring, about to ask him if he was hungry. However, before she could get the words out, the boy spoke.

"Mom? Dad?" Obi-Wan asked hesitantly.

There was complete silence in the room as Obi-Wan, Keiran and Nils stared at each other. Each one was shocked by the words that had just come out of Obi-Wan's mouth, and none were quite sure what to say. Keiran felt her heart fill with hope. Could she and Nils have been right? Could this be their little Ben?

"I... I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said, flustered. It had seemed the right thing to call them, and yet at the same time it seemed so wrong. "I don't know why I said that." 

Obi-Wan turned to escape from the room, but Keiran stopped him. "Please don't go," she said softly, causing Obi-Wan to turn and face her. There was a wary look on his face, and to Keiran he looked for all the world like a mynock caught in a trap. "Please come and sit down," Keiran said, trying rapidly to think of a way to put the boy at ease. 

There was such a look of pleading in her eyes that Obi- Wan didn't have the heart to refuse her. Silently, he sat himself at the kitchen table, running through his Jedi calming exercises, trying to find peace. 

"Morning!" chirped a voice from the doorway, making the two adults and Obi-Wan all turn to see Owen standing in the doorway. He was still in his pyjamas, his hair sticking out in all directions. The little boy was grinning from ear-to- ear and did not seem to notice the anxiety of his parents and his new friend. 

"Good morning sunshine," Keiran said, trying to smile. 

Nils looked from his wife, to his son, to Obi-Wan, and made a decision. All of this secrecy was getting them nowhere. He had to get to the bottom of this, no matter what the Jedi thought. 

"Owen, come sit over here by Obi-Wan. There's something your mother and I have to say to the two of you," Nils said. Owen shrugged good-naturedly and ran over to take the seat next to Obi-Wan. He sent a bright smile over to the young Jedi.

Obi-Wan glanced at the boy as he settled in next to him. Owen was sitting close enough to him that their arms brushed each other, and Obi-Wan felt himself relax at the physical contact. Whatever it was that Keiran and Nils were about to say, he somehow felt better knowing that Owen was with him. The boy just seemed to have that effect on him. 

Keiran and Nils sat at the table across from the two expectant boys and Nils took a deep breath.

"I guess there's no other way to start this than to just come right out with it," Nils began. "Owen, about thirteen years ago, your mother and I had a baby boy."

"But I'm only ten," Owen interrupted, scrunching up his face. Obi-Wan did not say anything, but he could feel his heart pounding almost painfully in his chest. 

"I know," Nils replied, smiling gently at his son. "The baby that we had was your older brother, Ben." 

"I don't have a brother," Owen said immediately, glancing from one parent to the other, an unspoken question in his eyes. 

Nils and Keiran shared a look and then Keiran replied, "Yes, you do." 

There was silence in the room as Owen let this thought sink in. "Really?" he said hesitantly. 

Keiran and Nils both nodded. 

Owen felt Obi-Wan tense beside him and he glanced quickly at his friend, feeling sympathy for Obi-Wan, but not quite knowing why. "I always wanted a brother but never got one," Owen said thoughtfully. He didn't seem to be angry or upset. In fact, he didn't even seem shocked. It was almost as if he had been expecting something like this.

Keiran and Nils both sighed with relief. They hadn't known how Owen would react to such unexpected news, and they had been worried that he might have taken it badly. 

"But... where is he? How come he doesn't live with us? Why haven't I ever met him?" Owen asked. He knew there had to be some reason why he'd never been told any of this before. 

"When your brother was just a baby, before you were born, he had to leave us," Keiran said, and Obi-Wan could read the pain that she still felt over losing her firstborn. He shivered a little. The motion caused Owen to glance at him again. Obi-Wan caught his eye and Owen could see the uncertainty in the young Jedi's eyes. Without thinking about it, Owen slipped his small hand under the table into Obi-Wan's hand. He squeezed once for comfort and Obi-Wan squeezed back gratefully. 

"Why?" Owen asked, turning his attention back to his parents.

"Because he had a special gift and he had to be taught how to use it," Nils replied, glancing briefly at Obi-Wan, whose face was etched in stone. 

Owen's eyes were wide. "Really?" he said, his curiosity peaked. "What kind of gift?" 

"The men who took him wanted him to become a Jedi," Nils said. Before he could continue, Obi-Wan interrupted.

"Wait a minute," he said, sounding a little panicky. "Wait just one minute... are you trying to say what I think you're trying to say?" Obi-Wan's eyes darted from one adult to the other. He already knew what they were saying, but to voice it out loud was too much. 

Keiran reached out to take Obi-Wan's hand but he pulled it away quickly. Deep down, he knew exactly what they were saying, and he knew somehow that they were right, but he didn't want them to say the words. _Master!_ he called out in his mind, desperately hoping that Qui-Gon would come to him and make this stop. As he had expected, however, he got no response from his mysteriously absent Master. 

Keiran tried not to feel hurt over Obi-Wan pulling away from her. She knew that this was as big a shock to him as it was to the rest of them. 

"What we're trying to say..." Nils said, trying to think of an easy way to put it.

"Is that you think I'm Ben," Obi-Wan finished for him. Owen looked over at him in awe. Owen was already starstruck over Obi- Wan being a Jedi, but for him to be his big brother was too much to hope for. He stared at Obi-Wan and he felt the young Jedi's hand tighten on his. 

Keiran and Nils both nodded. "We don't have any proof," Keiran said. "Just a feeling." 

"A very, very strong feeling," Nils added. "And... and the fact that your guardian is Qui-Gon Jinn," Nils finished, causing Obi-Wan to eye him warily. 

"What does Master Qui-Gon have to do with this?" Obi-Wan asked, a little too defensively. 

"Qui-Gon and another Jedi, Mace Windu, were the two Jedi who first discovered your gift and took you to the Jedi Temple to be tested and trained," Nils explained.

Obi-Wan tried to hide his shock. Ever since he had been a little boy, Qui-Gon had always been around. At first, the Jedi Master had not had much to do with Obi-Wan's life, but his presence had always been there. When the boy started getting older, Qui-Gon's presence in his life had gradually become more pronounced and the connection that Obi-Wan had always felt with the Jedi Master began to grow and evolve. But Qui-Gon had never told him that he had been the one to bring Obi-Wan to the Temple. 

Obi-Wan wrestled with his unsettled emotions, and suddenly, a niggling feeling of dread began to form in the back of his mind. Qui-Gon had been the one that had insisted he and Obi-Wan split up when they had arrived on the planet. He had been the one that had sent Obi-Wan to the Lars' store, where this whole mess had begun. He had not responded to any of Obi-Wan's attempts to contact him. Apparently, he had not even made an effort to find Obi-Wan once the boy went missing. Was Qui-Gon trying to get rid of him? Did he no longer want Obi-Wan as an apprentice? Is that why he had apparently gone to such trouble to bring Obi-Wan back to the Lars family? 

Obi-Wan felt disappointed tears stinging his eyes, but he refused to let anybody see them. Qui-Gon didn't want him. Obi-Wan had done everything in his power to make the man proud of him, but it hadn't been enough. He had tried so hard, and all because Qui-Gon's respect meant so much to him. The Jedi Master had been the father that Obi-Wan had always wanted, and he had sometimes suspected that Qui-Gon had felt the same about him. He guessed that he'd been wrong. 

Obi-Wan let his eyes focus on the Lars family. They were good people, but they were complete strangers to him. The Force was telling him that this was true: they were his family. However, deep down he knew that it was not the same kind of family and belonging that he had found with the Jedi. _What does that matter now!_ Obi-Wan thought bitterly to himself. He didn't want to go back to the Jedi if Qui-Gon didn't want him. Maybe the rest of the Jedi felt the same... maybe he was not good enough for them. 

Obi-Wan looked from Nils to Keiran. No, Qui-Gon didn't want him, but these people did. The only question was, did they want *him* or did they want the memory of a boy who no longer existed? 

*****

Qui-Gon stared solemnly out Tamelin's window, his arms crossed and his eyes far away. This was killing him. He could hear Obi- Wan desperately calling to him, but he could not respond. 

He allowed himself a small moment to reach out to Obi- Wan, but he had to be careful not to allow the boy to detect him. It was imperative that Obi-Wan not realize how close Qui-Gon was. Through the faint connection, he could sense Obi-Wan's confusion and sense of betrayal, and Qui- Gon had to close his eyes against the pain that he felt coming both from Obi-Wan and from himself. 

"Are you all right?" a soft voice asked, causing Qui-Gon to turn and face the woman who had spoken. He had been concentrating so hard on keeping Obi-Wan from detecting him, that he hadn't even sensed her presence. 

Tamelin felt her heart break a little for the Jedi Master when he turned to face her. He looked even more haggard than the night before, despite his attempts at meditation and the peace that he had found. She desperately wanted to wrap her arms around him and comfort him, but she was afraid to.

Qui-Gon smiled humourlessly. "No," he replied. "But I'll live." Although, secretly, he wondered if he wanted to go on living without Obi-Wan's youthful presence brightening up his otherwise too serious life. 

"Are you going to go and tell the Larses about Ben today?" Tamelin asked, still standing uncertainly in the doorway. 

"They already know," he said. 

Tamelin's jaw dropped. "How?" she demanded, wondering if Qui- Gon had slipped over there sometime during the night. 

"Their insights serve them well, as do Obi-Wan's," Qui- Gon replied. 

"Then I can go and see Ben now," Tamelin said excitedly, her eyes lighting up. 

Qui-Gon sighed. "If you are to go over there," he said, "You must not let them know that I am here. And you must pretend that you knew nothing about Obi-Wan's arrival." 

Tamelin frowned in confusion. "Why?" 

"I can't explain it all to you," he said, hesitating for a moment, and then added, "Please Tamelin. For this to happen the way that it is supposed to, Obi-Wan must spend his time with the Larses without me. I cannot interfere."

Tamelin stared at Qui-Gon uncertainly. "When will you go to Ben?" she finally asked. 

Qui-Gon studied her for a moment. "In a few days. By then, it will be time for Obi-Wan to decide."

*****

For Qui-Gon, the next few days were agony. Being close to Obi- Wan and yet not being able to be with him was hard enough, but watching him with the Larses was even worse. Obi-Wan had started out hesitant and uncomfortable around his birth family, despite their efforts to put him at ease. The only one Obi-Wan seemed truly at home with was Owen, who was starting to adore his newfound brother more and more each day. Obi-Wan seemed to return his brother's affection, and the two would lay awake at nights, giggling with each other. However, each day Obi-Wan seemed to relax a little more around Keiran and Nils, as well. It was especially hard for Qui-Gon to see Nils being able to show Obi- Wan the fatherly affection that Qui-Gon had always felt, but had never been able to truly express. 

Tamelin made regular trips to the Lars house to spend time with her friends, but she kept her promise to Qui-Gon not to tell them anything that she knew. At times, the urge to tell them was so overwhelming that she had to consciously stop herself from letting it out. At first, she was ecstatic that Ben, now called Obi-Wan, was back with his real family. However, the more time that she spent with the boy, the more confused she became by his behaviour. On the outside he seemed happy and seemed to accept that this was a place where he could belong. Yet, at times when Obi- Wan let his guard down too much, she also saw things that made her think he was downright miserable.

It wasn't until the end of the week that she finally got Obi- Wan alone to talk to him. She was on her way over to visit with to Keiran when she found Obi-Wan sitting alone out in the backyard, with a faraway look in his eyes. 

She came toward him and he looked up, sensing her presence.

He started to smile at her, until she said, "Hello Ben." Abruptly, the smile faded and a troubled look came into his eyes. "What's wrong?" she said, feeling her heart sink at the forlorn expression on the boy's face. 

Obi-Wan hesitated, as if evaluating his options, and then finally sighed in defeat. "That's not my name," he said, sounding depressed. 

Tamelin sat next to him, sensing instinctively that if she pushed a little she might finally get the answers to what had been bothering Obi-Wan ever since his arrival. She'd always felt that talking about things helped make them easier to understand and accept, and she hoped that this would be the case for Obi- Wan, too.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," she corrected with a smile. The boy tried to smile at her in return, but it came out weakly. "But, it *is* partly your name, too," she added quietly. 

Obi-Wan shrugged. "No it isn't. I tried to make it be me again, but I can't do it. I tried to do it for them but no matter what I did, it wasn't enough and now I'm just pretending." He was quiet for a moment and then in a very small voice he added, "I failed them." 

Tamelin put her arm around the boy and gave him a quick squeeze. "Hey now," she said lightly, "your parents and Owen love you very much. You haven't failed anyone."

"Yes I have," he said, his voice breaking. "They want me to be their son... but I can't give them what they want. I care about them, and I don't want them to be hurt, but I don't belong here. I don't feel like this is where I am supposed to be."

Tamelin nodded slightly. She had had this same conversation once before, many, many years ago with her own brother. At the time, she hadn't understood why he had to leave them again, but this time she was older and she understood only too well. As much as they all might love Obi-Wan and want to keep him with them, the only way that he would be truly happy was with the Jedi. 

Tamelin smiled sadly at the boy. "You know, Mace said almost exactly the same thing when he was your age and came home to us." 

Obi-Wan looked up at her with interest, his self-pity momentarily forgotten. "Really?" 

Tamelin nodded. "He and his Master returned to Coruscant soon after." 

The glimmer of hope that Obi-Wan had started to feel faded and his face fell. 

"What is it?" Tamelin asked. 

Obi-Wan shrugged.

"Is it still about Keiran and Nils?" she prodded. Obi- Wan shook his head. "Owen?" Again, Obi-Wan shook his head. Maybe it was because she had spent so much time with Qui- Gon in the past couple of days, but a light suddenly clicked on in Tamelin's mind. "It's your Master, isn't it." 

Obi-Wan avoided her eyes, but did not deny it. 

"Don't you want to go back to Coruscant with Qui-Gon?" 

"It's not that I don't want to," Obi-Wan said, his voice cracking almost imperceptibly, "it's just that... that I don't think *he* wants me to."

Tamelin quickly covered her shock. Qui-Gon Jinn may still be a mystery to her, but if there was one thing in the world that she had learned about the man over the past few days, it was that losing Obi-Wan was the *last* thing he ever wanted. He had prepared himself to say goodbye to Obi-Wan if the time ever came, and she knew he would accept the boy's decision, however, she knew he would not like it.

Of course, if she told Obi-Wan that, she would be breaking the promise that she made the Jedi Master, and Obi-Wan would know that Qui-Gon had been close by all along. Tamelin fought back a sigh of frustration, nearly blurting the whole thing out. 

"Well, how do you know if you haven't asked him about it?" Tamelin asked.

"Why else would he not answer me when I called him?" Obi-Wan replied. "Unless he were hurt or injured. That's what I thought at first, but now I don't believe it's true. I would know it if he were hurt. The Force would tell me... I think." 

Tamelin tried to think of a way to ease the boy's worries without giving Qui-Gon away. "Obi-Wan, what have Qui-Gon and the other Masters taught you about drawing conclusions without having all the facts?" 

Obi-Wan looked a little guilty. "They've taught me not to make hasty judgements," he mumbled, looking down.

"Then perhaps you should wait to speak to Qui-Gon before you decide that he doesn't want you. How can you decide so certainly that he doesn't want you if you don't have all the facts?"

Obi-Wan stared at his hands. He didn't look entirely convinced, but at least Tamelin had given him a lot to think about.

*****

Inside the house, Keiran was smiling from ear-to-ear as she put away the morning dishes. It felt so good to have both of her sons back under one roof, and Obi-Wan was slowly but surely opening up to them.

Nils watched his wife, and felt an unsettled flutter of anxiety in his stomach. He had been happy to have Obi-Wan with them as well, but unlike his wife, he had not been able to successfully forget that the boy was still only staying with them temporarily. True, they had not been searching very hard for the boy's guardian, but Nils had the feeling that whether they wanted him to or not, Qui-Gon Jinn would not stay away forever. Besides, also unlike Keiran, he had been unable to hide from the small, almost imperceptible glimpses of unhappiness that he had detected in Obi-Wan. Nils suspected that Keiran saw it as much as he did, but had been able to brush it off as Obi-Wan needing time to settle in.

A buzz at the door caught Nils' attention. 

"I'll get it!" cried Owen, who came tearing down the stairs. Keiran and Nils exchanged looks and both shrugged. Neither were expecting company. Nils followed his son into the other room to see who their visitor was, and stopped dead in his tracks when he recognized Qui-Gon Jinn. 

Owen stared up at the huge man in the doorway, his gaze travelling up and up until his eyes connected with Qui- Gon's. He backed slowly away until he bumped into the motionless Nils. Unlike his father, did not recognize Qui- Gon and so he wasn't scared of the man. He was just nervous for some reason that he couldn't explain. Unconsciously, Nils placed his hands protectively on Owen's shoulders. 

Keiran came from the kitchen and with a gasp grabbed the wall so that her knees would not buckle under her. She had known this day would come, but she had deluded herself into thinking that it was a long way away. She had not prepared herself for it. "You are not, I repeat *not,* going take him from me again!"

"It's not my decision, Mrs. Lars," Qui-Gon calmly stated.

*****

Obi-Wan had just come in the back door, with Tamelin close behind him, when the door had buzzed. He'd heard Owen come thundering down the stairs and race out to see who it was. The thought that he had been abandoned by Qui-Gon was still occupying his mind and he still needed time to think. Could he spend the rest of his life here on Corellia and be happy? 

The lack of conversation in the other room caught his attention. His parents should have been talking to whomever it was that had come to the door, but instead, there was only an eerie silence. His steps slowed and he cautiously peeked around the corner into the main hallway. He could see the entryway of the house, but there was no one standing there. Then he heard a very familiar and sorely missed voice say, "It's not my decision, Mrs. Lars." 

"Master?" he asked quietly to no one in particular. His heart began to beat wildly out of control and a hope that he hadn't allowed himself to feel for days began flowing through him. With a gasp and in a very un-Jedi-like burst of emotion, he flew across the room and into the waiting arms of Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. 

Qui-Gon returned the embrace with a quiet sigh... a sigh that did nothing to reveal the great wave of relief that had engulfed him as Obi-Wan wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. He placed one hand on the boy's back and the other on his head in a rare show of emotion, small as it was. 

Obi-Wan revelled in the touch and then suddenly remembered his training. He looked up into the blue eyes and said, "Forgive me, Master." He took a step back, but was unable to take his eyes off of Qui-Gon. A genuine smile lit up the boy's face. 

Qui-Gon said nothing. He knew exactly what was running through his apprentice's mind. There was no way he would rebuke the boy for the show of emotion. After all, he was just as guilty as Obi- Wan.

The display tore at Keiran's heart. She had always hoped that if she were ever reunited with her baby that he would do what he had just done to Qui-Gon, only running into her outstretched arms instead of the arms of the Jedi. In the past few days she had gotten absolutely no sign of affection from her son, only sad looks. She didn't understand this, but had tried to tell herself that hugs and displays of affection would come at some point. Keiran felt tears stinging her eyes and she glanced over to the other side of the room, noticing Tamelin for the first time. Tamelin had said nothing, but she had been as moved by the display as everyone else in the room. On one hand, she rejoiced for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, but on the other, her heart cried for Keiran and Nils. 

Nils' grip had tightened on Owen's shoulders as he had watched the two Jedi. His heart sank. He had been right. Their son was not going to stay. His whole demeanour had changed now that the Jedi Master was here. It was as if Obi-Wan had suddenly come to life after a long hibernation. 

Keiran could hold back no longer. "No!" she gasped, her voice trembling. "Get out of my house! You will not take Ben away from me again!"

Obi-Wan winced at the use of his birth name, but said nothing. He knew that his mother was hurting and he didn't want to add to it by telling her that his name was Obi-Wan, not Ben. 

"Keiran, please," Nils began. Keiran started to say more, but Nils' hand shot up to stop her. "Let the Jedi speak, Keiran," he said calmly, valiantly hiding the turmoil he felt inside. His eyes met Qui-Gon's and he could see the thanks in the Jedi's eyes. Oddly, he felt a sudden bond with the Jedi Master. Nils turned Owen around, drawing the boy's attention. "Owen, maybe you should go see Beru. She wanted you to go over and see her today. Now would be a good time." 

"Yes, sir," Owen replied, glad to get out of the room. The tension was so thick it was suffocating. He caught Obi- Wan's eyes and the two boys smiled briefly at each other, each one detecting the strain in the other. Then, Owen darted around the huge Jedi and out the door. 

Tamelin, feeling like an outsider, followed Owen out. She'd come back later and do what she could for Keiran, but at that moment, she didn't belong there. "I'll walk Owen over to Beru's," she said, leaving quickly. On impulse, as she passed Qui-Gon, she gave his arm a light squeeze of reassurance. Nobody seemed to notice, except for Qui-Gon. 

*****

Back at the Lars home, Obi-Wan spoke up, cutting Qui-Gon off before he could say any more. "Master, why did you do this to me?"

The question and the sadness in Obi-Wan's voice caused Qui- Gon's heart to skip a beat. "I had to, Obi-Wan. It was time for you to meet your family."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were the one who found me? Why didn't you ever tell me the truth?" Obi-Wan asked, trying to sort through his muddled feelings. 

Qui-Gon hesitated, knowing that this detail seemed to be a pivotal point in Obi-Wan's mind. He truly did not know how to answer.

Nils could see the reluctance to answer on the other man's face. "Ben," he said, "I don't think now is the time for this.

Obi-Wan's hands balled up under the hem of his shirtsleeves at the use of that name again. The movement was not lost on either Nils or Qui-Gon.

Unbeknownst to any of them, Owen had returned just in time to see the frustrated movement and the look that crossed his brother's face. Owen hadn't been able to stay long at Beru's, knowing that he had a stake in this discussion, too. Since his future was also effected by the outcome, he had come back to make sure that he would have his say in the matter. He stepped around Qui-Gon, drawing the attention of all of the adults in the room. "Dad, his name is Obi-Wan," Owen said, letting his eyes rest on his brother.

Obi-Wan looked thankfully at Owen, and the two boys smiled at each other in understanding.

"Owen," Keiran bit out, ready to reprimand her youngest son.

"He's right, Keiran," Nils interrupted. She looked at him incredulously. Nils sighed and tried to explain. "We cannot force an identity on him. He is who he is," he said.

"He's our son! That's who he is. Our son!" she said angrily, plucking a picture up off the mantle and poking a finger at it. The picture had only recently been placed back on the mantle after having spent the previous twelve years buried in a box that held other mementos of Ben. Keiran had not been able to deal with the reminders, so she had hidden them away. "This baby, *my* baby, Benjamin Wade Lars, Nils. He's our flesh and blood and I want him back!"

"We gave up that right, almost thirteen years ago," Nils reasoned calmly. "Qui-Gon's right. It's not his decision. Nor is it ours. It's Be... Obi-Wan's," he corrected himself. 

Obi-Wan was about to explode. They were talking about him as if he wasn't there. He couldn't take the blatant anguish that he detected in Keiran's voice any longer, or the quiet, less obvious anguish that he could hear in Nils' voice. He couldn't hold back any longer. "How can it be my choice, when it seems you've already made it for me?" he finally burst out.

"What do you mean, son?" Nils took a step forward and put a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

Obi-Wan wanted to jerk away from him, but knew it would hurt the man if he did. He looked up at Qui-Gon who had remained silent. Gently, Obi-Wan freed himself of his father's grasp. "Obviously I was brought here for a reason," he said. "I did something wrong. I failed... messed up and Qui-Gon no longer wants me as his Padawan. It's their way of letting me know I can't be a Jedi Knight." He turned toward Qui-Gon. "Master, I accept whatever my fate is. If I have to stay here, I will. But I have to know, what did I do?" he asked hoarsely, breaking every heart in the room. 

Keiran wanted to run to her son's side and take him in her arms, but was afraid that he would push her away. _If I have to..._ the words echoed in her mind.

Even though the words had hurt, they had also given Qui- Gon hope. Finally he answered the question. "You have done nothing, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan noted that Qui-Gon had not used the word Padawan once. It seemed like a bad sign. It had always been a reassuring title for him, one that had meant the Jedi Master wanted him in that role, and also in his life. In fact, it was often more of an endearment than an actual title. 

"Then, why, Master?" Obi-Wan pleaded. "Why are you abandoning me? Why now? You just told me last week that I had made great progress. Was that wrong? Do you still want me to be your Padawan?"

"I haven't abandoned you, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said firmly, his voice a little louder than he had intended. He couldn't bear having the boy think he was trying to get rid of him. "There comes a time in every Jedi's life where he or she has to make a choice. Your progress has brought you to that point. As you well know, the life of a Jedi is often difficult. This is but one of many of those difficulties. You must decide... between the life of a Jedi and the life of an ordinary citizen of the galaxy. Your parents love you, Obi-Wan. You can stay here, with them. You'll be loved and cared for, and all of your needs will be provided for by them. Other Jedi students have made that choice. No one will blame you... it is your decision."

Obi-Wan looked at each person. Qui-Gon was completely unreadable. Owen was supportive. Nils was hurting, but knew that the boy had to make his own choices in life. Keiran was near tears and terrified.

"I'll return in the morning for your decision," Qui-Gon said, his voice was even. He rested one hand briefly on Obi-Wan's shoulder, and then pulled it away quickly as if he had done something wrong. "I'm sorry for disrupting your lives yet again," he said, turning his attention back to Nils and Keiran. "But it had to be done." He turned toward the door. 

"Mas...Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan called, realizing abruptly that for now he could not call the man his Master. "Wait, Qui- Gon, you didn't answer my question."

The desperation in his voice nearly broke through the Jedi's resolve. "I can't influence you either way, Obi-Wan. If I answer your question your decision will be made. Seek guidance from the Force, my... friend. I will see you in the morning." He could feel Obi-Wan trying to reach out with the Force to pull the answer from him. "Don't, Obi- Wan. I will not answer." He stepped out of the Lars' home and into the bright afternoon sun, walking as quickly down the street as his long legs would carry him. 

*****

Obi-Wan stood stock still, frustrated and broken- hearted. It was the first time that Qui-Gon had not answered one of his questions. Yet this question was the most important one of his life, and still, the man would not help. Did he want him or not? All Obi-Wan could ever remember was wanting to become a Jedi Knight. To become the kind of man that he saw in Qui-Gon Jinn. Suddenly, taking babies away from their parents and then shoving them back on them when they were nearly teenagers, seemed rather cruel and not the kind of thing he wanted to do at all.

The silence in the room was nearly deafening. Keiran took the risk of having her son pull away from her again and neared him. She gathered him into her arms and hugged him gently. "I never should have let him take you. I'm sorry, Ben, I'm so sorry," she said.

Obi-Wan let himself be wrapped in his mother's arms. He did care for her, he just wished she would stop calling him Ben. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. Again, he got the eerie sensation of looking into a mirror. This time, the mirror showed the pain behind her words. It was a pain that equaled the inadequacy he was feeling at not being the person, whether it was Ben or Obi Wan, that anyone wanted him to be. He brushed at her tears and said, "You don't have to apologize, Mom. It was the right thing to do. I've liked my life." Keiran felt her heart nearly stop. It was the first time that Obi-Wan had voluntarily called her "mom." He'd gone out of his way to avoid that title in the past.

*****

For the rest of the afternoon, the reunited family tried to make the best of the time they had together. Not one of them knew what the morning would bring. It would either be another painful goodbye or the beginning of a new life. That night, the thoughts plagued Obi-Wan as he lay next to Owen in the dark. 

"Are you going with Qui-Gon in the morning?" Owen asked softly, drawing Obi-Wan's attention. 

"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. "I'm not sure *what* to do."

"You know," Owen said, "I was really mad at first when I thought you might go."

Obi-Wan turned to gaze at the boy next to him. "Really?" he asked in surprise.

"Uh-huh," Owen replied. "I figured that if you left us, it would mean that you didn't love us, or maybe that we weren't good enough for you to stay."

"That's crazy!" Obi-Wan gasped. "It means nothing of the sort! Of course I love you, Owen... you're my brother! I know we haven't really had much time to get to know each other, but that doesn't matter... I know you in here," he said, putting his hand over his heart. "And I do love our parents, too... just in a different way." Obi-Wan paused for a moment and then continued. "As for not being good enough," he snorted, "You guys are some of the kindest, most wonderful people I've ever known."

"So then why do you want to go?" Owen said. Obi-Wan was silent, so Owen continued. "I can tell that it's what you really want... but why do you want it?"

"I don't know," Obi-Wan replied hesitantly. He was quiet for a moment as he closed his eyes, reaching out with the Force and relaxing, trying to see the future. He hadn't really gotten the hang of it yet, but Qui-Gon had told him that it would come more easily with time and practice. Several images floated about in his mind. People he didn't know; faces from his past at the Temple; friends; beings he and Qui-Gon had helped; his parents; Owen; Qui-Gon; Master Yoda; and a face that seemed very familiar and yet not. The face was of a young man with his colour hair, his blue eyes, and a dimple in his chin. He realized it was himself, much older, and wearing the clothing of a Jedi. Was this the sign he needed? Was he to be a Jedi or was it just what he wanted to see? He pushed the image aside and opened his eyes, glancing back at Owen.

"Because no matter how great I think you guys are, it's just not where I belong," he finally said, feeling the truth of his words right to the core of his being. "I have to be a Jedi," Obi- Wan said almost vehemently. All of a sudden, with a startling moment of clarity, Obi-Wan knew exactly what he was supposed to do. "I have to be a Jedi," he repeated, this time less vehemently, but with just as much determination. "Whether Qui-Gon is my Master or not. I can't become a Jedi for Qui-Gon's sake... I have to do it for me."

Owen shook his head, mildly confused by his brother's abrupt mood change. "You've known that all along, haven't you," he said, half as a question and half as a statement.

Obi-Wan thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I guess maybe I have." He turned to face his brother with an amused grin. "When did you become so smart?"

"Always have been," Owen boasted quickly, although he was still slightly baffled by Obi-Wan's sudden decision. 

"Oh reeeeeally?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yup," Owen replied, turning his eyes back up to gaze at the star chart on his ceiling.

"Smart enough to avoid this?" Obi-Wan asked innocently. In confusion, Owen turned to face his brother, only to get a face full of cloth as Obi-Wan swung his pillow at Owen. Owen shrieked and jumped up, arming himself with his own pillow. Obi-Wan was smiling wickedly at him, and Owen responded with his own wicked grin. 

"This means war," Owen said, and Obi-Wan laughed, letting go of all of his worries for the first time in days. His decision was made, and in his heart, he knew it was the right one.

*****

Tamelin came over later that evening and had a quiet chat with Keiran. She tried to explain to her friend about Mace's visit and decision many years earlier. It had been painful for all of them, but now, not one of her family members would trade what they had. Mace Windu had saved countless lives and they were all proud of him. His visits were few and far between, but they were much- celebrated events in the Starr home. She tried to point out the fact that everyone had to make sacrifices in their lives. Even she had moved away from her family to live her own life, which had allowed her to be there for her best friend in her time of need. "I went through what Owen is going through now, so that I could help you through the same situation," she said, truly believing it. "If I hadn't been through this already, I would be no help to you."

Keiran nodded her head. "It just hurts so much, Tam."

"I know," Tamelin said sympathetically. "But later, it might not hurt so much. And even if Obi-Wan were to decide not to stay, would you deny him his dream? Even if it takes him away from you?" Keiran said nothing in reply. "Even if he stayed, he could leave again to pursue some other career. You just never know."

Keiran knew that what her friend said was true. Owen was already talking about becoming a farmer. Farming could take him to the other side of Corellia or even to the other side of the galaxy, to another planet where his services would be needed. "Thank you," Keiran said. "I am so glad you are my friend," she added, hugging the woman.

*****

Later that night, Qui-Gon again lay awake, unable to sleep. He swung his feet to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees. For several minutes, he sat there, bare- chested, trying to put his thoughts into some semblance of order. Thoughts of Obi-Wan's anguished face and the pain that he had brought to Nils and Keiran Lars, mixed with confusing thoughts of the woman that he believed to be asleep down the hall, kept running through his head.

His initial meeting with Tamelin over a decade before passed through his mind. He had found her beautiful then, and he reluctantly had to admit that he still did. He had buried his feelings for her all those years ago, being too preoccupied with the infant Obi-Wan to deal with them, but now they had unwillingly resurfaced. This time, he had tried to bury his feelings again, having still been preoccupied with Obi-Wan and the Larses, but he hadn't quite succeeded. He wasn't sure he could deal with those feelings now, though. He was going to be leaving Corellia within the next day, having broken the hearts of an entire family or else having broken his own heart. Did he really want to add to that heartache by dragging Tamelin into it?

Tamelin, too, had been unable to sleep. Her mind was occupied with thoughts of how her friend would cope with her son's decision. In addition, and more disturbing to her, she found herself occupied with the thought that Qui- Gon Jinn would soon be departing from her life again. His departure was somehow affecting her more than it should. He had not outwardly indicated any interest in her, but she had caught him staring at her a couple of times. It had made her heart race. He had allowed her to hold his hand in an effort to comfort him, but she really had no idea what the man thought of her, or indeed, what she really thought of him. Twelve years ago, when he had been here with Mace, she had found him attractive. However, she'd been so angry with both of them for taking away her best friend's child that she had decided that any thought she'd had of him was out of hatred. Now she found herself second-guessing and reexamining what her opinion was.

She passed his open door and peered in, seeing that he was not asleep; instead he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Without knocking, she entered. She could tell how tense he was by the muscles in his back.

Qui-Gon heard her steps in the hall. He also heard her stop and enter his room. He did not turn his head or acknowledge her presence. He did, however, find it odd when she sat down behind him on the bed. His brows furrowed and then relaxed as she began massaging the tense muscles of his shoulders.

Neither one said a word as Tamelin's dark hands rubbed the tension away. When she was satisfied that he was as relaxed as he was going to get under the current circumstances, she moved to sit on the side of the bed next to him.

"Thank you," he said without looking at her; he was almost afraid to. The last thing he wanted was to do something that either of them would later regret.

Tamelin raised a hand to his bearded face and gently stroked the strong jaw-line.

Qui-Gon could not remember the last time a woman had touched him. He reached up and grasped her wrist. "You don't want to do this," he said, hearing the tension in his own voice.

"I don't?" she said with an amused smile. She reached up with her other hand and stroked his other cheek. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't be here," she said simply, letting her hand trail down from his chin to his chest.

He released her wrist and pulled her closer. "Your brother is going to kill me."

"My brother doesn't need to know," she said as she kissed him.

When she pulled away he said, "Oh, he'll know all right." With a smile she had not seen all week, he kissed her again.

*****

Qui-Gon awoke the next morning with his arm around Tamelin's sleeping body. She was holding his hand near her face with her back to him. He lay there for several minutes, until she stirred and released his hand with a kiss to each fingertip.

He kissed her forehead and said, "I hope you don't regret this later."

"I won't. I knew last night that I may never see you again," she said touching his cheek.

"I want you to know something," Qui-Gon said softly.

"Yes?" Tamelin replied.

"I don't go around putting the proverbial notch in my lightsaber..."

She didn't let him finish. "I know. And even if you did, it's not the same when the other person started it, is it? I like you, Qui-Gon. I wanted to be with you. I know the risks. I am an adult."

He smiled down at her. She indeed was an adult and he was going to miss her. She had been a quiet help during this stressful time.

*****

That same morning, Obi-Wan woke with the same sense of peace that he had gone to bed with. However, he didn't go downstairs for breakfast with Owen because he had no appetite. He knew that the outcome of his decision was going to hurt the people that he had come to care for, and he was not looking forward to it. When the door buzzed he jumped, and then remembering himself, he slowly made his way down the steps.

All eyes were on him as he took his foot off the bottom step. He swallowed and glanced at Owen, finding strength in his brother's encouraging smile. "I'm sorry. I know that any decision I made would hurt someone, but I know what I have to do," he said, approaching the Larses, who were all standing in the middle of the room. Nils had his arm around Keiran and the other grasped Owen's shoulder. "Mom, Dad, I want you to know that I do love you and I thank you for all the sacrifices that you have made for me up until now." He reached up to both adults and hugged them at the same time.

He turned and faced Qui-Gon, briefly catching Owen's grin and wink as he did so. "I want to go back to Coruscant. I want to be a Jedi. Even if you are not my Master... even if it means being shipped off to the AgriCorps and never becoming a Knight." He got down on one knee as a sign of submission. He could hear Keiran's gasp and knew she was crying.

Qui-Gon's shoulders relaxed and he thanked the Force silently for giving his Padawan peace about his future. He also felt bad for the Larses. They were losing their son for a second time. He stepped forward and touched Obi-Wan's head. "Rise, my Padawan, and we will say our goodbyes. Here," he said, holding Obi-Wan's lightsaber out to the boy. He had retrieved it from the police just after Obi-Wan had left with Nils that first night on Corellia.

Obi-Wan dared not hope that Qui-Gon's words, and the return of his lightsaber, really meant what he thought it meant. He clipped his weapon back onto his belt and turned to the grieving parents behind him. "I'm sorry. I can't be the Ben you want me to be. I am a Jedi. I know I've hurt you, but I also hope to be able to become a Knight and someday make you proud of me. Do... do you think maybe you could love me as Obi-Wan and not as Ben?"

Nils knelt down in front of him. "Obi-Wan," he said, "We are proud of you now. We love you and want only your happiness. We know that your destiny does not lie here with us." He hugged his son and stood.

With tears streaming from her blue eyes, Keiran hugged Obi-Wan and said, "I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Don't ever forget that your mother loves you. Please come back and see us."

Obi-Wan nodded. The words seemed so familiar. He kissed the wet cheek. "I will Mom. I promise." He turned toward Owen and shook the boy's hand. "Take care of them, will ya?" he said with a smile.

"Of course." Owen squeezed the bigger hand of his brother and then wrapped an arm around their mother.

Obi-Wan took one last look at his newfound family and turned to leave.

"Qui-Gon, take care of my son, please. And thank you for letting us see him again," Keiran said. She had finally found it in her heart to forgive the Jedi and accept that her son was indeed special and needed the man's help.

"I will," he said, holding her gaze for a moment. Keiran actually smiled at him. Qui-Gon was connected to them, whether she wanted to admit it or not. For better or for worse, he was bound to them by his love for Obi-Wan, just as they were now bound to him. "Come Padawan," Qui-Gon said with a smile. He placed a large hand on Obi-Wan's back and led him from the house.

This time, there was no doubt in Obi-Wan's mind. He could feel and almost taste the fact that Qui-Gon wanted him to continue being his apprentice. He was happy and at peace, just as he should be.

[The End]

   [1]: mailto:catcey@aol.com,tlindgren@canada.com



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